I had atlantic salmon eggs benedict with hash browns
half-and-half
camoflage painting
had a long day today. a six-hour class followed by a two-hour lecture followed by an hour-long exam. i always have shitty wednesdays, but by the time i finish my english tutorial, i'm as wired as a kid on ritalin. makes me go crazy when i come back to my dorm and i'm going nuts on msn, talking to twelve people at once.
this is an email i sent out to my friends on September 10, 2007. i promise to think of actual blogging material soon, but all of this is piling up in my hotmail inbox. and in my head. i need to dispose some of it.
i've recently come to the conclusion that blogging makes me feel more sane, because i feel more unique upon reflection of my days, but it also makes me more depressed than if i were NOT to blog about my days. does that say something sweeping and grandiose about my life?
the email:
+++++++++++++++++++
Subject: if i were a simple man...
Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2007 12:22:01 -0700
warning: holy shit long email. if you dont have time to read it in one sitting, please remember to later.
hey guys, i am writing this email via INTERNET EXPLORER (not firefox) from the ryerson library, which i visited for the first time today... i have the day off so i'm mindlessly just wandering around. looking for imaginary books. y'know. oh god i got my first journo assignment back and it nearly made me tear up! basically there were like 2 sentences in my 3-page obituary that was fine, hahaha. it wasn't for marks, but if it had been, it probably would have been a D. anyway tomorrow is my philosophy class and i had to read the textbook like 3 times to understand the first chapter. i've even taken notes, but i still am in summer mode, it feels like im in summer camp or something still. it hasn't registered in my mind that i'm going to live here for 8 months. jesus!
i feel so new and naive being here... like i only know where the bookstore/library/journo building are on my campus and thats pretty much it... i haven't even been to the main office place yet. i need a map whenever i still go around tho the campus is tiny ass compared to you guys'. the only parts i've explored in the city are dundas square (1 minute walk from rez) and queen street west.. and all of yonge street leading up to it. queen street west = a la granville + robson. i've been to bloor a couple of times, which is like where upscale shopping is, but i dont really know anything else.
ive walked by chinatown/kensington market and it was pretty awesome, but i didn't take enough time to explore it all. i haven't found any good restaurants (aka i've only been eating at cafs mostly). the caf food actually isnt THAT bad as long as i don't go to my own rez caf (greasy shit). i always go to corissa's rez caf because they give you actual meals that they cook, like club sandwiches or something. there is also a pub/restaurant that belongs to ryerson, and a coffeeshop/whitespotesque place that also belongs to ryerson. so the food ain't bad. i haven't been to the Hub yet, which apparently has the best food.
i'm trying to get my schedule fixed for my shitty wednesdays, i've emailed everyone who can possibly help and i REALLY need it fixed or i'll be complaining for the rest of the year... blargh.
yesterday i went to see another movie at TIFF (it was korean and i didn't need to read subtitles once! hooray) and then had a giant conversation about god/organized religion/faith with raylene, who saw it with me. the movie made me realize a side of religion i'd never seen before. it's so weird. i'll have to rant to you guys about my epiphany later though. i'm more tolerant of religion, but only because i realized how much more terrible it is, compared to what i thought before (and i was pretty skeptic of religion before)... it makes little sense, i know. i felt really weird all day because of what the movie made me see. i was amazed.
anyway i'm ranting. the people beside me are speaking caribean french. denise how is the frenchiness of montreal? roxy i am jealous of your deep candid talks to people on your floor, i am negative amount close to my floor people now because i hang out with others so much. probably not a good thing. dara, go be sociable, university can change you for the positive (tho also for the negative). you can be part of it all. i haven't rolled my eyes or said something needlessly cynical in like two weeks. it is a-m-a-z-i-n-g. i babble all the time about complete bullshit and i'm not myself... i'm a journalist.
i don't know if i'm changing or only my persona (who i am on the surface) is altering to cover up what a loser i am on the inside. i can't believe how quickly my personality changed, albeit on the surface. i told this to lara already, but i miss myself a little bit... it seems like i'm beginning to resemble everyone else, and everyone else is just like the generic adults that make up 99% of adult society. i thought university was supposed to make your individualities shine - so far all i've done is become like everyone else.
i haven't made any "deep" friends yet either but i guess there are kids i hang out with more than others. i can only really relate to raylene (the girl who came to see toronto film festival with me) but it's not the same when you haven't known each other since grade eight. i guess my expectations of friendships and relationships are way too fucking high. i really REALLY should go find some new people. my reclusive personality will not go away easily, i suppose.
i agree with rox, and i'm sure the rest of you do too: i miss sitting around lara's kitchen talking about lame ass shit for hours and hours. and eating pepper and calling up random people and mass-talking to matt on msn and saying hi to jer and saying hi to robyn and all that. or sitting on the mini hill until 4pm on a friday afternoon, doing nothing but saying GUYYSSS LETS DO SOMETHING WHERE SHOULD WE GO? or perhaps sitting in the mini computer lab with humphries in the office, playing family feud or talking about aiden/ben who're playing basketball in the mini gym. or something. i miss it all i miss it all i miss it all.
denise i'm sometimes really really jealous of you being in mcgill and being with familiar people and making good friends with jason/alisa. rox/dara i'm terribly missing vancouver, i'm jealous that you can still have its trees and mountains and temperate weather and the thought of being in a special city. lara i'm jealous of the fact that you have sam and maddie and those incredibly intelligent, incredibly cool people in artsci. how did we split into so many pieces?
i have homework for jrn 100 and im procrastinating like crazy. apparently i had homework, didn't know until four days later. sigh. i'm reading frankenstein, hamlet, sonnets, and fairy tales in my english "nature of narrative" class, and we're required to watch rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead (that movie ellison told us to see when we were doing hamlet). thank god i've already done hamlet or i'd be screwed with all the amount of reading to do.hey guys, i am writing this email via INTERNET EXPLORER (not firefox) from the ryerson library, which i visited for the first time today... i have the day off so i'm mindlessly just wandering around. looking for imaginary books. y'know. oh god i got my first journo assignment back and it nearly made me tear up! basically there were like 2 sentences in my 3-page obituary that was fine, hahaha. it wasn't for marks, but if it had been, it probably would have been a D. anyway tomorrow is my philosophy class and i had to read the textbook like 3 times to understand the first chapter. i've even taken notes, but i still am in summer mode, it feels like im in summer camp or something still. it hasn't registered in my mind that i'm going to live here for 8 months. jesus!
i feel so new and naive being here... like i only know where the bookstore/library/journo building are on my campus and thats pretty much it... i haven't even been to the main office place yet. i need a map whenever i still go around tho the campus is tiny ass compared to you guys'. the only parts i've explored in the city are dundas square (1 minute walk from rez) and queen street west.. and all of yonge street leading up to it. queen street west = a la granville + robson. i've been to bloor a couple of times, which is like where upscale shopping is, but i dont really know anything else.
ive walked by chinatown/kensington market and it was pretty awesome, but i didn't take enough time to explore it all. i haven't found any good restaurants (aka i've only been eating at cafs mostly). the caf food actually isnt THAT bad as long as i don't go to my own rez caf (greasy shit). i always go to corissa's rez caf because they give you actual meals that they cook, like club sandwiches or something. there is also a pub/restaurant that belongs to ryerson, and a coffeeshop/whitespotesque place that also belongs to ryerson. so the food ain't bad. i haven't been to the Hub yet, which apparently has the best food.
i'm trying to get my schedule fixed for my shitty wednesdays, i've emailed everyone who can possibly help and i REALLY need it fixed or i'll be complaining for the rest of the year... blargh.
yesterday i went to see another movie at TIFF (it was korean and i didn't need to read subtitles once! hooray) and then had a giant conversation about god/organized religion/faith with raylene, who saw it with me. the movie made me realize a side of religion i'd never seen before. it's so weird. i'll have to rant to you guys about my epiphany later though. i'm more tolerant of religion, but only because i realized how much more terrible it is, compared to what i thought before (and i was pretty skeptic of religion before)... it makes little sense, i know. i felt really weird all day because of what the movie made me see. i was amazed.
anyway i'm ranting. the people beside me are speaking caribean french. denise how is the frenchiness of montreal? roxy i am jealous of your deep candid talks to people on your floor, i am negative amount close to my floor people now because i hang out with others so much. probably not a good thing. dara, go be sociable, university can change you for the positive (tho also for the negative). you can be part of it all. i haven't rolled my eyes or said something needlessly cynical in like two weeks. it is a-m-a-z-i-n-g. i babble all the time about complete bullshit and i'm not myself... i'm a journalist.
i don't know if i'm changing or only my persona (who i am on the surface) is altering to cover up what a loser i am on the inside. i can't believe how quickly my personality changed, albeit on the surface. i told this to lara already, but i miss myself a little bit... it seems like i'm beginning to resemble everyone else, and everyone else is just like the generic adults that make up 99% of adult society. i thought university was supposed to make your individualities shine - so far all i've done is become like everyone else.
i haven't made any "deep" friends yet either but i guess there are kids i hang out with more than others. i can only really relate to raylene (the girl who came to see toronto film festival with me) but it's not the same when you haven't known each other since grade eight. i guess my expectations of friendships and relationships are way too fucking high. i really REALLY should go find some new people. my reclusive personality will not go away easily, i suppose.
i agree with rox, and i'm sure the rest of you do too: i miss sitting around lara's kitchen talking about lame ass shit for hours and hours. and eating pepper and calling up random people and mass-talking to matt on msn and saying hi to jer and saying hi to robyn and all that. or sitting on the mini hill until 4pm on a friday afternoon, doing nothing but saying GUYYSSS LETS DO SOMETHING WHERE SHOULD WE GO? or perhaps sitting in the mini computer lab with humphries in the office, playing family feud or talking about aiden/ben who're playing basketball in the mini gym. or something. i miss it all i miss it all i miss it all.
denise i'm sometimes really really jealous of you being in mcgill and being with familiar people and making good friends with jason/alisa. rox/dara i'm terribly missing vancouver, i'm jealous that you can still have its trees and mountains and temperate weather and the thought of being in a special city. lara i'm jealous of the fact that you have sam and maddie and those incredibly intelligent, incredibly cool people in artsci. how did we split into so many pieces?
this is an excessively long email. it's just that you guys are my diary and this is the place to spill everything thats going on right now. i can't believe its already 3:16pm, i ate breakfast like an hour ago haha. i put up lots of pictures on facebook (2 albums) - go check them out. my favourite pictures is the one of ed the sock from muchmusic. hahaha. it's too bad i didn't get enough camera battery to take pictures of dallas green and hannah simone and stuff, but oh well, i'll have other days. brad pitt and angelina jolie were in a theatre about 10 minutes walk from my rez and there were insane lineups. i didn't bother seeing them though. celebrities are just walking around holt's on bloor street and it's all so normal and annual for this city!
i havent fallen in love with toronto yet, i have suddenly become very conservative in my falling-in-love factor with everything. i hope i can find more interesting things to do, but until then i'm broke as hell!
love you all and look at my pictures!
jen
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
No comments:
Post a Comment