Thursday, January 31, 2008

it don't impress me much

my right middle finger is blue and pink - i just spent the last half hour colouring it with highlighters.

spent the nite facebooking and msn'ing and eating cookies and chilling in the floor lounge, watching ten things i hate about you and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind halfassedly while all of us facebooked on our respective laptops. aha. it was a computer party. like twelve people on their laptops just chillinnnnnnnn. i edited sari's zines while she blabbed about the newest band she's promoting and rachelle blabbed about how much she hates artsy movies and rebecca made a birthday card for her friend and val begged everyone to proofread her essay and oliver did his oliver thing. and clare was just clare.

+++

for my/your amusement:

FACEBOOK WALL-TO-WALL IN REVERSE CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER:










Wednesday, January 30, 2008

still standing still


so tired. went to the courts today and reported THIS case, which is taking forever. the trial first started in november 2007 and it's still going on because there had to be a re-trial. pretty much nothing happened though, such a boring day! i nearly fell asleep. and i shouldnt publish info that the jury could possibly see, it may change their opinions and possibly lead to an unfair trial, ha ha ha

(not)

anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. i can't look forward to reading break enough.

right.

ughh, i am forever torn.

okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

a whole new world



according to my blog, these are the movies seen this year (this year being january 1, 2007 to today). most of which didn't come out this year, but saw for the first time... i'm pretty sure i missed plenty, because they're randomly popping inside my head as i type this

my top 25 favourites highlighted.

juno
persepolis
across the universe
my kid could paint that
secret sunshine
shock doctrine
virgin suicides
factory girl
science of sleep
kinsey
half nelson
lady vengeance
oldboy
kiss kiss bang bang
rushmore
the squid and the whale
ghost world
dead poets society
pretty dirty things
motorcycle diaries
taxi driver
paris je t'aime
the godfather
fight club
fargo
waitress
pan's labyrinth
the weather man
serendipity
babel
the danish poet
almost famous
waking life
letters from vietnam
before sunset
the departed
groundhog day
seven years in tibet
dr. strangelove
american beauty
paradise now
spirited away
seopyonje
marathon
spiderman 3
harry potter 5
pulp fiction
four weddings and a funeral
little women
out of africa
you can't take it with you
it's a wonderful life
scarecrow
cq
children of men
scarface
fly away home
borat
c.r.a.z.y.
memento
notes on a scandal
mr. smith goes to washington

why do i let myself worry

hahahah

from tony

fire and rain



court reporting for realz tomorrow. i went to the superior court of justice to check the place out and it kind of frightened me. it's pretty standard though, i suppose. why are court cases so incredibly cliche but emotional? GAWD.

i am reading northrup frye's literary criticism essays "anatomy of criticism" during my spare time... i got allen ginsberg's book back out of the library too. also (supposed to be) reading michael ondaatje's "in the skin of a lion" and the goddamned cugoano book, "thoughts and sentiments on slavery". murf.

my philosophy prof, james, was especially crazy today. someone should have measured the decibels of his voice when he was screaming about greeks and democracy. dear god!

can't wait until tomorrow 6pm.

things i ate today:

- twenty billion carrot sticks with ranch dip
- one soft chocolate chip cookie
- bowl of oatmeal crisp apple brown sugar cereal
- reese's pieces m&ms
- lay's regular chips (like, a lot. ha)
- macaroni salad
- chicken broccoli stirfry with white sauce, rice and veggies
- uh...

heres the end to my ______ day.

Monday, January 28, 2008

worst day ever

oh my god i am going to fucking die.

caring is creepy

ester's photos from this week(end)




ooo dear


fran's breakfast lunch-supper




vegetarian eggs benedict, ester's








this was shoppers drug mart


valentines day much?


milestone's, after tokyo police club concert



i should really finish reading and go to fuckin sleep. but i havent folded my laundry :S

if you want me to, i will be the one, that is always good and you'll love me too



semi-cleaned up my room at about 5pm, did the dishes and laundry, ate dinner with the floor, went grocery shopping, procrastinated, called mom, played scrabble while helping rachelle decide what to text to her potential lover. now doing the homework that i should have done ages ago...

going to the superior court of ontario tomorrow to check out shit for my assignment on wednesday. picking up my photos of ester tomorrow. sooo much fuckin shit to do, aka i have to finish the ondaatje book by tuesday, yea right like that's gonna happen!

booked train tix to montreal, going for three days during reading break. yaaaaaaaaa excited.

i'm reading r. taylor's essay "the cosmological argument" in philosophy and it's blowing my mind.


Sunday, January 27, 2008

im a liar and a thief

sit and drink pennyroyal teaaaaaa
i'm anemic royaltyyyyyyy
all alone is all we all are

gonna eat first meal of the day soon? its 5pm.

byessss

beyond the yellow brick road

hi there

its 221pm and i havent eaten yet

sooooooooooooo should do that sometime soon
as well as laundry and other domestic crap

ew i feel so terrible this weekend

ive listened to "goodbye yellow brick road" about 20 times in a row so far

talked to lara this morning afternoon

do i go against the grain? do i go with the flow?

anyway. need to drag my ass out of bed and go back to real life.


Jen // Fenny says:
hi mom.

Nam Ok says:
하이 더터

Nam Ok says:
소설은 썼냐?

Jen // Fenny says:
not yet.

that's pride fucking with you

had breakfast with ester at fran's. i ate eggs benedict with hollandaise sauce, soooo caloric. took film pictures in the snow. bought stamps. walked around the shoppers drug mart on college street, took a sample of every single bottle of perfume in the entire goddamn store, we even sniffed the juicy brand cologne for 'decadent dogs', i am not kidding. each bottle woulda been like a hundred dollars. "you should buy it for you dog," i said. "uh, my dog's a man," ester replied. "you can buy it anyway," the freakish saleslady encouraged. "maybe for his birthday," said ester. and we left the freakish saleslady there. bought a fuckload of $3 film then, went back to my room, it was a disastrous mess and ester was probably disgusted. called up ray and took more pictures and then said goodbye to ester. ate dinner with ray, we both had semi major freakouts slash schizo sessions then argued then went to the world social forum meeting then watched the monologues then met up with mya and others and went to the tokyo police club concert at nathan phillips square then saw dave and ester again and we went to grab frood on queen street and we went into fuckin milestone's, where we saw creepy botoxed women and ugly men trying to hit on them? dave and i shared fuckin good spicy thai chicken drumettes though. ester had a giant plate of pasta and stopped eating after four bites and dave and i ate the rest. i paid the fuckin bill because i am nice and we wandered around the bank atms in the financial district trying to get some cash out so ester could pay me back. took the ttc TWO stops to ester's u of t residence, met up with her fuckin crazy friends who were calling themselves cunts because of this and that blah blah blah and there was some bitchiness going on and some definite sketch drama and joanne rolled a huge j and we waited forever in emily's room so we could go out and smoke but as i said they took forever, plus this dude bob was being a total douchebag and joanne was being a big bitch and a girl named hil was very strange, so dave and ester and me left the building and smoked the giant joint by ourselves while taking hilarious pictures on our cellphones. we also had some gin and tonic mixed in with snow and "it tastes like toronto," said ester. i got pretty high and started talking nonsense non-stop like that time on galiano island when we made pot brownies and i just babbled on for five hours while everyone else just sat back in the couch and listened to me talk and laughed hysterically because i was talking like a complete fool. but then dave and ester made fun of me for being completely talkative so i was like ehn, then we did some shit i can't really remember. oh yeah before i got high, i visted hannah in her rez room, a floor above ester. goodness, seeing hannah cheered me up limitlessly while completely depressing me. she wants to do a study abroad trip in hong kong next year though. fuck i wanted to weep when i saw her. it was pretty awesomeeeeeeeeeeee. i got depressed again so i called dara then ester bugged me so i became quiet and then dave and ester once again did their thing and then ester got really hyper and broke into someones room and basically walked in on a naked couple IT WAS PRETTY AWKWARD TURTLE but kind of funny. then we took ridiculous 'diary videos' with esters video phone. then we went back to her room, got sleepy, ester took a shower and i dont really remember what else we did. then i got ester to draw me a map so i could walk back to my home safely without being raped or kidnapped blah blah blah it worked. dave forgot to give me a mix cd! dammit. i walked home almost falling asleep and super paranoid about sketchy men walking in the snow. now i am in my room downloading elton john's "goodbye yellow brick road" while i lie in nothing but my giant yellow tshirt.

what else: ester thinks i might want psychological help after hearing about my new year's. hahaha. she plans to see a shrink because she can, for free, with u of t medical coverage? or something? whatever i didn't really understand. otie left me a funny voice mail and i snorted when i first listened to it. ray and i had a weirdish stubborn argument and it was weird. there was a cool party last night and i didnt go because my pride would have been at risk.

currently contemplating: changing schools, going back to vancouver, going to korea and live with my dad for a year, applying to u of t's victoria college for next year, changing programs to photography at current school, sharing an apartment with adam next year cuz he needs someone to live with, seeing a shrink, calling my mom, going through my photos, looking for a fake id, being emo, buying a holga, buying a fisheye lens, going to ikea, calling otie, reading on the road, cleaning my room.

word up

Saturday, January 26, 2008

the afternoon, when it is beautiful

some new clothes
check out my super greasy hair
like.. ultramarine blue jeans.
awesome possum.

playground love



i’m a high school lover, and you’re my favorite flavor
love is all, all my soul
you’re my playground love.
yet my hands are shaking
i feel my body remains, themes no matter, I’m on fire
on the playground, love.
you’re the piece of gold the flushes all my soul.
extra time, on the ground.
you’re my playground love.
anytime, anyway,
you’re my playground love.

the place which the angel passes by




a postcard:

Hi ______!

miss you! right now i'm sitting in my room, completely uninspired, coming up with wacky theories for the cause of my discontent. i think artists are always discontent. and i believe that i am an artistic soul. therefore, i will never be able to be completely happy. it's okay, i have many time-pockets full of joy, and sometimes life is tolerable with just that. hope that you're doing great, and that you're doing great things. here is a quote i love: "live to the point of tears." love, jen.



another postcard:

hi ______!

hey. right now i'm listening to the trip hop air record also known as the virgin suicides soundtrack. maybe you'll like? "you're my playground love," sings air. it's snowing outside and all is desolate. i am entering a photography contest next month, wish me luck. what is your life goal? are you persuing it? is sorrow a good thing? are you in the sky with diamonds? love, jen.


Friday, January 25, 2008

i never knew you

i have serious issues. for example, i cant fucking go to an awesome party if i know ahead of time that people i hate will be there. no matter how awesome the party...

barf

everything reminds me of her


this is a snow cone.

i'm thinking of opening up yet another blog. this one would function normally but i would have side project things.

a) a blog full of little stories (or poems)
b) a blog full of long stories!
c) photoblog
d) dream blog
e) smart-alecky review blog of music, movies, books, blah blah blah
f) an abstract philosophical blog about the finiteness of the universe
g) other: ________

ok go.

ever since you have been gone, it's all been caffeine-free, faux punk fatigue

haha, remember when i used to do this everywhere?





as well as this?





as well as this?





and this?





and this?






live to the point of tears



email to friends.

+++++

chica chica ya

took a ginormous nap today and then went out to dinner with hilary and we were talking about I SPY books (remember those books with huge photos and rhyming couplets and you have to find stuff, a la "where's waldo"?) and im like, man i want to do those again like i did in grade 4, and so we're like, hmm we should, and we're like okay! so we went to world's biggest bookstore and we did I SPY for two hours. then hilary bought the brady bunch on dvd, what a find. hahaha





then i came back to my disastrous room and cleaned it up a little bit

and finally organized some papers that i should have done in december

bought virgin suicides dvd for $6.99. sweet deal

im gonna enter this photography/design contest/exhibition thingy held by rez council, though i know that all the photography/image arts/fashion/film/design students will take all the prizes. there are simply too many of them haha. ahhh oh well. im getting my mom to fedex me EVERY SINGLE ROLL OF FILM I HAVE EVER TAKEN. this is a big hairy deal. im sort of paranoid that it'll get lost in the mail, in which case i'll have to kill myself, but i need them badly because i want to enter this thing and i want to use my best shots.

hahaha.

this saturday im going to the see otie perform in the ryerson version of the vagina monologues then go to a free weakerthans/tokyo police club concert at nathan phillips square... and take pictures with ester on sunday. nothing on friday really. pretty chill weekend. i severely need to get on schoolwork anyway and i want to move my furniture around so that it makes some fucking interior design sense. it will take like seven people to lift this stupid desk though

here is a quote i love: "live life to the point of tears."

xo

Thursday, January 24, 2008

as you want me to be


done, done, done this motherfuckin essay!!!!!!! i'm hoping to get 70%, a totally unrealistic goal considering the amount of barfable redundant crap i wrote. oooo and i used to pride myself on writing brilliant essays. ahh those were the days...

time for a nap. k coooooooooooooooool.

someone please help me clean my room.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

ruby ruby ruby ruby


I really miss caring about stupid things with you guys. That's the biggest thing.

- Lara


I miss it too... whatever happened to the days when we would sit around the kitchen and make coconut cake and eat freshly ground pepper?

currently: procrastinating like a motherfucker.

unlit cigarettes

in big letters:

why am i not asleep!?!


im so fucked.

you're falling back to me, defying gravity

somebody take me somewhere warmer than this silly city, like siberia for instance.

ugh.

dear north americans: remember our lady peace and their giant sappy 2002 rock hit "somewhere out there"? why is this song in my head right now...?

come as you are

Hallo there. Someone fax me my guitar (I'm looking at you, Vancouverites!) so I can learn to play the Moldy Peaches' song "Anyone But You" the way Michael Cera and Ellen Page do in Juno. I will then call people up on their cellphones and sing thirty seconds of the awesome song in their voice mails. I promise.

Adam is Croatian. Today he and I were talking about worldly cuisines and he told me of a fantastic and yummy Croatian delicacy. Croats eat lots of meat... then they save the grease from hunks of pork and lamb in tupperware, stick it in their fridge, and spread the grease on their toast the next morning. HAHAHA.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

do not be angry with me, i am only an artist

this is pretty sweet. yah?

homework overload. will blog after thursday.

honey, sweetheart, sugarpie, baby



had korean food today at a restaurant and it was actually good, i was surprised. we went into the hmv on yonge street, and it was by FAR more enormous than i'd imagined. each floor played completely different music and it had the most extensive section for classical music and movie soundtracks. i'm talking obscure obscure soundtracks that people once heard back in the 70s or something. plus they have a vinyl section, albeit very small. also a huge classical music section. doods. we went back to my room and listened to some coltrane.

tuesdays are my least favourite days because of my visual cultures class (boring as shit prof) but today wasn't so bad. i have a fuckload of schoolwork though. gawsh.

my room is only clean when people come over to hang out. uggh

i am becoming the notes-master. four people have asked me to borrow lecture notes this week already. ha. i am nice.

im thinking of adding more blog invites to people. i dont know who reads my blog exactly. it's strange.

byebye my babies

same old

i am talking to pat on msn right now. TOO IRONIC.

ps. back to my life sucks mode.

Monday, January 21, 2008

friend like me

so um... i have a ton to blog about but since i cant say it all tonite, here is, instead, an awesome video that ive been repeatedly watching for the last half-hour.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

pop the glock


here is a bunch of garble by Jacques Prevert that i feel like remembering

Il a mis le café
Dans la tasse
Il a mis le lait
Dans la tasse de café
Il a mis le sucre
Dans le café au lait
Avec la petite cuiller
Il a tourné
Il a bu le café au lait
Et il a reposé la tasse
Sans me parler

Il a allumé
Une cigarette
Il a fait des ronds
Avec la fumée
Il a mis les cendres
Dans le cendrier
Sans me parler
Sans me regarder

Il s'est levé
Il a mis
Son chapeau sur sa tête
Il a mis son manteau de pluie
Parce qu'il pleuvait
Et il est parti
Sous la pluie
Sans une parole
Sans me regarder

Et moi j'ai pris
Ma tête dans ma main
Et j'ai pleuré




k bye.

mercy mercy me


hooooooooooooooly motherfucker i am antsy right now.

hmmmmmm
why am i so incapable of leading completely different lives?

(insert all the things i want to say but can't say right now because i am too ineloquent at the moment)

i'm asphyxiated

hey kids (im talking to you five people who can currently view this, haha)
dont worry about my blog, it wont be deleted
it will be on the down low for the next little while, then it'll be back to normal

some Granville Island photos from winter break 2007 (photoshoot with jordan)
up on my flickr finally
some of these are taken by jordan, but i dont remember which