new pictures on flickr. checkitout!

soooooooooooooo incredibly FUCKED for this test. i started "studying" half an hour ago and for the life of me can't remember anything we did this chapter. blanking out is not cooooool :(

i cannot wait to burn all my chemistry notes after the schoolyear is over.

holy shit, can i please skip this test???

in other news... this is a drawing I did of the neutral milk hotel cd cover for "in the aeroplane over the sea":

i am talented

i will take pictures of the finished drawing/watercolour painting later.

home is where the heartache is

Today was sooooo sunnie. the weather beckons me to come outside and play. roll on the grass. wear shorts and tank tops. WHEEEEE!

i can't wait for this week to end.

my sister gave me these things for my birthday. she is too nice to me because she secretly admires me. we secretly admire each other, though we can't stand each other.

Wilco -Sky Blue Sky


Wilco - A Ghost is Born


FIGHT CLUB! uaskflsjsfj *dies*

today was surreal. it was pretty much an ordinary school day, but it was like walking in a dream the whole day! it is sunny outside and denise is trying to kidnap me into going out for gelato with her, but i am muchly fucked for this math test tomorrow! mmmm studying.

this weekend is the crazy party weekend:
thursday - grad sleepover
friday - grad walkout
saturday - party at eric's / sleepover craziness to celebrate my birthday

i will do a huge birthday post later this week. i am so incredibly busy with schoolwork this week, it is INSANE. everyone has been so nice to me for my 18th.

Love.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! I'm eighteen as of 54 minutes ago. cool.

I celebrated my bday with my family. today (aka yesterday) was a chaotic weird ass day though. Maybe i will post something about it later. Mmmmm drama...

I have a birthday goal, the way people have new years resolutions when a year passes. my birthday goal is to become a better, kinder person. I don't deserve so much of everyone's love.

Love.

watched Babel last night. it was alright, nowhere near amazing but still pretty disturbing. one thing i got from the movie was how not all human lives are equal. one american woman's death leads to scores of Moroccans searched, threatened, and killed. two out-of-place white kids lead to numerous Mexicans being deported and jailed. it's just gross. it depresses me that there is such a thing as a life priority pyramid depending on ethnicity and race.

+++++

i'm about to shoot myself from the amount of homework and studying to be done. AGH. tonight i am going out to dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th. i wish i had more time to waste.

ciao.

if roxy says it, it must be troo:

Hahahahaha.

here are some pix that i feel like putting up. this wee little girl is turning eighteen on monday. woo.

my mom looks like a freaking teenager. she was 29.



i was clearly a princess.



i had on shiny red shoes. oh my.

when was the last time i blogged? i forget. went to the school dance today after hours of chaotic disagreements between the bunch of us. mmm arguments are YUMMY and DRAMATIQUE. anyway it was pretty much a joke of an event, until the last few songs, which rocked the house. the "home for a rest" was crazy tonite. EVERYONE IN A HUGE ASS CIRCLE DOING THE FUCKING CANCAN. it was good, which is amazing, because we were completely sober.

went to matt's house with dara after the dance. listened to harry chapin and death cab and keane on ze ol' faithful ipod and speakers. good music = love. jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus. i bullied matt to drive me home. its 12 42am and i am at home.

i am just a tad slight bit emo toniiiiite

dara, lara and i made pecan pie today. it was SO.GOOD. the aroma of toasted pecans is lovely. i want to learn to bake pies and cakes and all that stuff.


baby don't you cry
gonna make a pie
gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle
baby don't be blue
gonna make for you
gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle
gonna be a pie from heaven above
gonna be filled with strawberry love
baby don't you cry
gonna make a pie
hold you forever in the middle of my heart

i have a terrible feeling that i'm doing this all wrong. I'VE CHOSEN WRONG THINGS AND MADE WRONG DECISIONS BASED ON WRONG THINGS.

i dont want to be hopelessly normal, but im afraid to be anything but. wtfs.

had a giant discussion with my sister about rachel's seemingly-benign-but-actually-racist comments after i launched into a rant about her behaviour in history class (read: israel vs palestine).

she openly makes anti-palestinian remarks that are sometimes very offensive. if there were someone with an arab background in our class, there could be war. holy shit rachel, please stop sharing your stupid comments, PLEASE. of course the world is full of nazis and more-inferior-than-shit anti-semites. WE GET IT OKAY.

on a random note: my friend's display name: "this is my rifle and this is my gun. this is for fighting and this is for fun."
fashion show tomorrow! fuck, i should do some homework.

tell us a story, we know you're not boring

here is a short list of cool words:

skittles
snit
idioteque
swashbuckling
duckie
bambi
aubergine
iota
smarmy

... i'm probably the only person in the universe who would care enough to arrange the seemingly non-sequitur order of that list. righto.

the school mural, now gone (R.I.P. beautiful mural)

haven't done any math for the past couple of weeks. i am contemplating dropping the math provincial and doing the horrid french one instead. actually, that sounds like a better idea the more and more i think about it. i'm allowed to choose as long as i have four. frick, i dont want to do exams at all. i'll be left to write a bazillion essays if i do the english, history, french exams.

there is a local band charity concert happening on Thursday and i desperately want to go because it's about a buck a band. unfortunately the school fashion show is on the same night, and i want to go to that too. goddayum. i'm leaning to the fashion show right now because it's cheaper and because the runway looks rad. maybe i'll take pictures for the hell of it.

here're some pictures i've been hoarding since march.

something weird happened today. mom and i were at the gas station across from my apartment at about 9pm. while backing up, we heard a loud POP explosion, like the sound of someone slamming something against the pavement very hard.

my mom thought it was a flattened tire, so she got out of the car. then my sister (who had been at home) called on mom's cellphone and asked "are you guys okay?! i thought i just heard a gunshot!" i told her that yes, we had heard the noise, but that we were fine.

the idea of a gunshot scared the SHIT out of me, though. i know that probably wasn't it, but we don't know what the loud noise was. our tires were fine, but it might have been some other car's tires. jeez. my sister really scared me shitless with that. her voice sounded all fearful.

watched The Danish Poet last nite. it's an animated canadian short film that won the oscar for best short film (obvs). it was like watching rapunzel.

anyway tomorrow is a dreadful school today and i am noooooot looooking foooooorward aaaaaat aaaaaaaall. barf.

i remembered i have a french exam tomorrow. it's such a hassle that i have to worry about school still. my conscience won't let me slack off, or at least slack off completely.

my bank account is gross. ive spent way too much money in the last few months (hah, try the whole year). i need to save up like crazy just to make myself feel better. yeah right.

rented babel today. i dont know if i will get a chance to see it tonite though.

i can sense that summer is coming near because of the fact i can't ever sleep these nights. i stay up until it gets light then drag myself to bed. i love not sleeping at night in the summer, then watching the deserted streets slowly fill up with cars and pedestrians.

watched five bazillion episodes of friends after i got home. what's up with all those marathons? jeez. anyway i should probably go to sleep, since i have to go back to school real soon (too soon). shiiiiiiit. ah well.

in other news, i'm reading about five books simultaneously. hope i finish most of them. haha. i had a horrid impulse to read dan brown's books other than the da vinci code, so i started reading angels and demons. good lord! what the frig am i doing. anyway, i dont know where that sudden craving for some tragically predictability came from.

watched MTV LIVE on this dude Shane Smith, who co-founded VICE MAGAZINE. he went to bulgaria, tried to buy a dirty bomb off a sketchy character, then went to lebanon where he hung out with the terrorist group hezbollah, then went to china & north korea. holy shit? what stories must the guy have to tell. anyway, he's airing them on a vice's own little broadcast medium.

is it weird that i am jealous of this dude? what the frig.

my family units are watching Doctor Zhivago again and i can hear my sister WEEPING like a baby. shiz. um anyway, i went to the FEBS CONCERT this afternoon at the media club which was sickeningly awesome.

i'll put up some pix later. lucas, the singer, was fuckin alright. all of them are so lovable. I AM IN LOVE WITH BENDER, aka the blonde drummer.


there were two opening bands, one of them andrew's band. they're pretty alright.. the febs stole my heart and all its valves. i bought both their cds and have been listening to them continously since i got home.

dare and i bussed to the media club, which wouldn't be too bad of an idea except it was shitting rain like CRAZEE. i got completely soaked from the waist down and had to use the georgia straight (the newspaper) to shield myself from the rain.

im itching to go to the rufus wainwright/sarah slean concert (all ages, july 28, at the centre for performing arts). shit man i really want to go. come with me!

thank you consequence, thank you silence

went to see Waitress at fifth avenue cinemas with dara and malc. lovely, lovely movie. keri russell was great. the writer/director adrienne shelly did a fantastic job at creating a quirky, moving movie, though she died before the movie was released. (apparently she was murdered. thanks google!)

anyway. sweet story with lots of sweet pies. the movie made us hungry for pies, so we went to Cheesecake Etc, where ryan works, which was the closest place we could think of to a pie shop.

lots of freebies tonite. during the movie, the fire alarm went off randomly. some evacuated, though we didn't, but because of this error, we got a free movie pass! then at Cheesecake Etc they brought me the wrong order, so i got two slices. i am awesome.

we talked for two solid hours then moseyed home. gossiped with ryan about prom (seems like a lifetime ago that it happened). malc drove me home.

it's 2:05am and i'm sleepy, thank god. i need to start sleeping at regular hours. tomorrow i'm going to the media club for a concert with dara. hooray for long weekends! i have thursday to monday off. this is great.

loves.

PROM 2007

how to even begin...

at zach's:


this picture is so... definitive.
i'm third from the left, front row.


it's surreal how everyone is so gorgeous






the girls, in front of the limo
haha, shit man.








english bay:


MY FAVOURITE PART OF THE ENTIRE NITE.
on the limo, lara and i rolled down the windows and
screamed our asses off to the people of downtown!


awww...


girls: aylz, denise, ester, lara, rachelle, jenny, rox, dara.


classy.


jenny and rox.


teehee


oh man.


this might be my favourite prom picture EVER,
es and lara look so bomb.


THE ASIAN GRRRLS.




lara's dress reminds me of marlene dietrich


we look too happy




left arrow three


we are TOTAL LOVERS. quote es


love


i could be a wedding photographer.







pan pacific hotel:


girls' bathroom


an ice sculpture of our school emblem. iiiii know.




europe traveling buddies!


zach and jenny


the history class girls: nathalia, jenny, grace, es


jenny and sean


i love dare.








i love you lar


writing class nerds!!!


jenny and xiao.



at sunrise at spanish banks

none of these are my pictures, though i did take a whole bunch on rox's camera. there are about twenty gazillion photos up on facebook, though i can't find any pictures from the boat cruise.

i can't believe that's over.


everyone was dressed to the nines. we were all SO. GORGEOUS. at zach's we took pictures and had champagne. then took the limo to english bay. the limo ride was freaking exhilirating, we cranked up the radio, rolled down the windows, sang to avril lavigne, and acted like completely happy teenage fools. screamin hi's and givin peace signs to the unknowing people of downtown is so FUN and CATHARTIC and CAREFREE. it made me want to hug everybody. definitely my favourite part of the night.

me: "i LOVE everybody."

took pictures at english bay. the popping corks from our bottles of champagne hit by-passers. that was funnie. i wanted to jump into the ocean!

went to pan pacific, ate a shitty catered dinner, danced our asses off, killed my feet from the high heels, took pictures, complimented on others' dresses. went to anna's grandma's half-renovated apartment to change and get drunk. taxi'd to after-prom boat cruise.

i had the biggest scare right before the boat cruise because the security guards were threatening to use the breathalizer on everyone, which was a lie, but at the time i was disoriented and pretty freaked. denise somehow (magically) got through the guards, onto the boat, but some people were too gone to be let on.

boat cruise from 1 30am till 4 30am, then we taxi'd to spanish banks beach, where we made a bonfire and sat 'round, singing wonderwall by the sunrise... how incredibly corny and lovely. the sun rises really early. it was light by 5am. denise, es, lara and i taxi'd to dennys for breakfast. half the grade twelve student body was there for breakfast as well. we had sunny side up eggs, bacon, toast, the whole shebang. mmm grease.

after brekkie ester left, denise lara and i talked then all fell asleep in midst of talking because we were all so dead. i pulled out all my bobby pins from my updo - there were at least fifty. stayed at our dennys booth corner until 7am. lara's dad, robyn, picked us up and i got home at 8am. slept till 3pm. haha oh man.

felt half-shitty all day yesterday, perhaps slightly hung over, because i felt queasy. weird because i didn't drink much at all. all my muscles are sore though. watched trashtv all day while lying on the couch, i didn't have energy for much more than that. i managed to watch everything from Pussycat dolls show to Making a (white) rapstar to Oprah to Judge Judy to Babar, on treehouse channel. Babar rules over all others.

saw all of doctor zhivago in its 3.5-hour widescreen glory on DVD. it was less depressing but more profound than i remembered. my sister and i finished watching at 2 30am. michelle went to sleep but i stayed up watching ALMOST FAMOUS on cbc. shiz. i heart that movie. when THAT finished, i watched a weirdass psycho movie called spanking the monkey on tv, and it was even weirder than it sounds. by the time i turned off the tv, it was getting light outside (5am).

ALMOST FAMOUS

woke up about five hours ago. i need to drag my ass outside and do something worthwhile today. seems liike i'm wasting this weekend away! half the girls are at galiano right not partying it up while i am not. i was mad because i wasnt invited before, but Ehn. i remembered i have a concert to go to on Sunday.

going to see andrew's band and the febs at the media club on sunday with dara. will have a blast. probably will fall in love with andrew. NOT. i saw his girlfriend at prom, she was smoking hot in a punk rock sort of way. i told andrew this and he agreed: "i know!"

byes.