i worked in the office for last block. the principal must be ordering people around a lot because everyone was ticked off and hurrying me to photocopy papers, etc, oh and by the way jenny, you have first priority on the photocopier because this is for the principal herself, blah blah blah. i just came back to the mini and apparently the principal is pissed off at kinnear, the head teacher. and then ms phillips is like 'oh it was my fault, i will go talk to her' and kinnear is asking everybody 'is she mad at me?' how dramatic.

ha i just tired to write that paragraph without mentioning the principal's name once.

ANYWAY.

its after school and everybodys kind of hectic and out of it because of this new schedule thingy. shit shit shit i have french first thing in the morning tomorrow, this is going to very bad indeed. no more lunchtime to finish up french homework.

i think i have this thing where i decide what i like and what i dont like before i even get to know it well.

denise knows that ryan knows somebody who likes patrick. this is so goddamned middle-school. apparently the mystery girl's asking around what pat's favourite number is, she's going to buy him that number of roses for valentine's day. UHHHHHHH riiiiight-o. i would barf except i am not allowed. ha.

agh, im afraid something's going to blow up im afraid something's going to blow up im afraid something's going to blow up im afraid something's going to blow up.

i havent bought cd in over a month, i am slowly going to fucking disintegrate into dust.

everything is Meh.

gosh i need OLP to tour THIS INSTANT.

once, i dreamed that i had 4 holes in each ear.

myspace is retarded. what the hell's the fucking point?

the most memorable lyric from beautiful midnight is You can be art when we melt.

i think i'm going to change my name for real. after march or something maybe. i hatehatehatehatehate my name for the most part. too bad i was retarded and stupid when i named myself.

i have wet hair right now.

the ending of running for home is perfect.

when i want to leave, no one will give me a ride.

i spend way too much time on the computer.

people, its not CHINESE new year okayyyyyyyy its LUNAR new year k thx.

i pretty much dress like a boring weirdo, mostly in jeans and unimpressive tshirts and fat jackets.

if i had a pair of old jeans and some fabric markers, i would write lyrics all over it and pretend to be artsy and silent.

every girl goes thru a photography phase and i like to fool myself into thinking that im pretty good at taking good pictures.

every time i go downtown, i think, "maybe i'll bump into matt (or jen) good in hmv or something."

this grade-8 girl in my photography class was telling her friend that she listens to what she called "cool music" and i asked her what her version of cool music was and she said "oh like old stuff like jimi hendrix and nirvana" and i smiled.

once i got dragged into a La Senza store and i broke a crate full of stuff because i was bored and waiting for people and i was sitting on the crate. i ran away before a saleslady walked my way.

once i went in this skater shop place and i was wearing a shirt that said "disco is dead" (thx denise) and the dude was like 'thats a cool shirt' and i responded with the coldest "thanks".


okay bye.

let the bare feet be the last sounds that they hear

click to download olp's live performance of Superman's Dead, from their live@ muchmusic that went on today. the outro jam is FUCKING orgasmic.

i'm going to ramble about music for a bit. the our lady peace performance at muchmusic was pretty solid, and the highlights includ the aforementioned outro of "superman's dead", and also raine's vocals in "wipe that smile off your face", he went pretty wild and high, holycrap. the interview sucked for the most part, i blame it in matte the Retarded vj. jeez. plus some moronic caller dissed raine's fedora (what blasphemy) and i got mad. ha. ha. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. i have been listening to super amounts of olp lately. also, i watched the music video for "naveed" which always brings me pretty close to tears and my heart ready to explode with cathartic pressure. or something. i think im rambling by now right?


ATTN DENISE:
dallas green = guitarist of alexionfire
dallas green = has solo cd (city and colour)
dallas green = with neverending white lights, featured in the current single "the grace"

on a completely relevant note, i am completely in love with that music video for "the grace", where daniel victor sews feathers together into wings, and onto the angel's back. love love love love love. if i ever write a fantasy story i may have to steal that idea, i can picture massive heaps and heaps of white wings in my head. it would be similar to a scene in hero where there are piles and piles of leaves.

i think this is my most rambly blog post ever *shudder*

i went volunteering early this morning at a food-bank place, and i think i MAJORLY screwed up my back while lifting all those heavy boxes. it hurts when i sit or walk or bend.

plus, i felt little ripples of annoyances today but thats okay.

sighsighsigh

"there's a weight in your eyes, i can admit".

im not doing any work and i have to go into vancouver eastside tomorrow, earlyearlyearly, which is sort of freaky. i am volunteering at a soup kitchen.

i occasionally have a big mouth.

today i went to granville island as usual and developed some photos and blah blah blah. on the way home, we put on jeff buckley's live cd in the car and listened to it at top volume and got high off his soaring voice.

it's a long long getaway
it's a long long getaway
make it home again.

what an antisocial idiot. i was *actually* informed about people getting together tonite and i am probably not going. except this time i can't complain that i didnt know. too bad i suck at socializing.

soooo incredibly tired. today was my judgement day and i went to hell.

whatever.

i need more food

when i came home after the torturous day, my sister was humming something by Metric and i said something like "their new single is 'poster of a girl'." then i crashed and slept.

i'm retarded.
and i dont like being a third wheel
haha.

i cant play scrabble. i feel so mean, its not even their fault. in fact, i love them. they cause me too much pain. ha.

on a completely irrelevant note: tonite emily called me because she was supposed to meet up with everybody (but me) in downtown and she couldn't find the people and then i called roxy on her cellphone and told to go find emily and blah blah blah and their cell phones were running out of batteries. i am so helpful.

bye.

please be careful, annie dreams that everyone is dead

i'm on an OLP roll. they are doing a Live@Muchmusic on monday, january 30, at 7pm eastern time (4pm pacific time) and i am so watching. also, they will have another concert dvd out by spring-ish, which will be aired before it is released. ahhh so excited.

today i had a dream, i was running away from somebody and hiding, and i remember i had on my red silk scarf.

sometimes these meaningless and weird dreams are totally obvious in showing what is on your mind, and you hardly need to decipher them. freudian slips in dreams.

i don't know if i posted this already or not. a while ago, i dreamed that someone commented on my blog that he had read my story i've written (called Lou and Travis) on the internet and that he immediately needed to know who i was, then marry me. i was all surprised and shit.

also, i once dreamed that i got a big fat long letter from some private school kid who was apparently a friend of someone i know. he wrote that i should give up trying to do certain things because i am not good enough.

god, it is hard to make sense on a blog.

the first thing i hear when i walk into school is that the coldplay concert fucking ruled. apparently fiona apple was horrible. anyway, i am all frazzled this morning because i didnt wake up at 6am like i planned to do, and i didnt do my physics homework and i'm already late for my first block and i *just* realized that report cards send you some kind of notice if you are late for the same class over and over and over again, which is my case. um yeah. plus somebody sent me a text message and i was confused. oh and also, tomorrow is the despicable SAT test and i might pull all my hair out tonight just thinking about it.

ciao.

tonite is the coldplay concert and there are several people going, including some annoying people. they made me go Meh today. whatever. if your favourite band is coldplay, at least stop being annoying. please. i guess i am being unreasonably pissed off and mean, etc, etc, etc. ha.

i have come to the grand conclusion that i am in love with the idea of falling in love (i think this is a quote from somebody, maybe dara). how tragically cliche in a hopeless romantic way. i dont even give a thought about with whom. i fantasize about stupid little cool moments that may or may not happen in a relationship, like playing on the swings in the rain, or sharing earphones with a mysterious sweetheart. gag. ok i need to change topic now or i might vomit from my own stupidity.

barf.

i totally did a cool thing today, and that was to carve the word Fugazi on the desk in the french room. ha ha ha. 'cool' being 'derived from extreme boredeom', maybe. plus i started another story during socials class and i wanted people to take turns and continue writing it, 2 sentences at a time, but dara said Meh so i wrote it by myself.

people requiring special attention are bothering me too, i wish i could just pointedly ignore them and not give a fucking shit about how i'm supposed to act, because all i get from them is hypocritical treatment. hellooooo, if you expect me to be nice to you, at least look at my eyes when i'm trying to make some conversation, so i dont feel like complete shit.

whatever. my rant is done. i plan to procrastinate on doing homework and go to bed while listening to jeff buckley.

i am so happy right now, i dont even want to think about studying for tomorrow's chemistry test. aghaghgahghaghaghg. i have chem hwk and french hwk, ooo fuck, but holy motherfucker i am the happiest person in the world right now and i wish i knew why!! i wish i would stop being so happy so it doesnt suck when i come down from this random high of happiness.

wheeeeeeeee

this is when i feel like i have wind in my hair and i can swish around the streets of vancouver and be confident and feel like i can fucking accomplish anything!

(this is my heart.)

howdydoo, it is nearly saturday january the 28th and i am getting anxious and shit.

i went out to kerrisdale and had sushi with peeps after school, then tried to buy a magazine but london drugs sucks and it did not carry Spin. too bad. i bus'ed home then watched napoleon dynamite again and i was pained-amused as i remembered that time when we played charades and Patrick did the napoleon dance. ha. i say pained because that memory makes me want to go 'awwwwwwwwwwww' ubersweetly and fall on my weak knees. and crap like that.

ha.

there are a bajillion quotes i could cite from marketable depression and explain how this certain quote so applies to me, etc, but that would be boring and redundant to the point that no one reads it, including me.

its nearly 11:30pm. ugh. i am too good a procrastinator, how will i even survive in life?

some news: coldplay will perform at this year's canadian juno awards.

our lady peace's 2nd concert dvd will be out on (supposedly) february 7th. this includes live footage from the band's november concert in toronto, held at massey hall.

ciao.

people are semi ticked-off at me so i have to seek refuge in the computer lab until class starts, in 2 minutes. vlad is in here as usual. he sends himself bogus emails on his gmail account and tries to fix the never-working school printer, like he does every day at lunch.

some people are pissed off about the election talk. not the results themselves, but the people talking ABOUT the election. i guess it is like hating people who love punk rock, etcetera.

oh woah, vlad actually fixed the printer, apparently.

...

the bell just rang and i must brainwash myself for math.

ooookies, looks like a Conservative minority. it is unsurprising yet somewhat disappointing and dooming, and some people are treating this as if there are black ominous clouds upon canada.

ha.

icky harper but ah well.

i got 5 hours of sleep last nite and was more awake than i am on normal days, with 7 hours of sleep. thank god. i was picturing myself scraggly and dizzy and wearing my shapeless jacket all day, shivering with cold.

ANYWAY, i did an amazing amount of homework in the morning and at lunchtime, and easily came up with bullshit for my english homework and portfolio, plus i did a band sectional. go productive me.

it is voting day. today i saw a grade nine kid wearing a Conservatives button. mhmhmhmhmhmhmhm. right now i'm frantically trying to find out about the george strombolopoulos show The Hour that went on today supposedly (with matt good; and jeremy taggart, too, apparently), but i cant find a trace of this show on cbc.ca! i think i got the times mixed up by assuming that tv showtimes revolve around pacific time. ugg. idiot!

melissa auf der maur (former member of hole/smashing pumpkins) speaks.


ahhh anticipation.

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy Music Theology Art History Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

that's it. fuck english homework. i'm going to bed. i have to wake up in 6 hours. maybe i'll skip band to finish it off. otherwise i will have to do this during lunchtime while attempting to copy others' homework.

lalala.

anywho, im randomly in love every day with different people i dont even know, and that is kind of strange. i think i am going seriously weird at the head.

excellent excellent, the unspeakable name is no longer on google, therefore my old blog is no longer reachable by googling that word.

i still miss the shitload of archives i had, though. too bad. sigh.

i want to write a novel, but im afraid i have absolutely zero plotlines whatsoever in my head. i need a clever one that unfolds itself at the end and has something profuckingfound to say. i dont see it happening anytime soon. whenever i write whats in my head onto paper, it usually ends up whiny and disgustingly ugly. if i ever became a musician, my lyrics would probably sound like avril lavigne's.

okay, so maybe not avril lavigne. but still pretty unliterary shit. my blog (the old one, anyway) is the best anything that i've written but it had a lot of crap in it too. sigh sigh sigh. its all gone now. thanks, fuckers. i hope you skip first class tomorrow so i dont have to see you.

more procrastfdak;fsldfwqef.

i want a beck shirt.

aggggg fuck this analysis of short stories
i need sleep.

i like nervous smiles and the colour red.

i finished three new books today, what a fucking accomplishment that i have not done since maybe grade six when i used to be a crazy insane bookworm who went through entire libraries in weeks.

my life is pretty much quotes from other people and bits of lyrics and overabundance of I hate _____'s and I wish _____'s. i never like where i am currently, i think.

brett is the coolest name ever.

shite, is it bad that i have to go to school in 8 hours and i havent started homework?

i am worried at the fact that i am not worried about my schoolwork not being done.

on a completely unrelated note, i need to find a fellow heartless romantic and go through shitty phases with her/him.

"I want a boyfriend
I want all that boring old shit like letters and sodas"
- Liz Phair

wheeeeee procrastination.

our lady peace before their november massey hall concert in toronto.

agh instant headaches.

i should slowly start thinking about school and homework.

im almost finished the Raymi book but i know im going to read it more than once.
lalala

i think i may have found someone who *actually* lives in vancouver whom i can remotely relate to. i am so lame.

uggg. fuck you OC. you make my life worse.

this probably makes no sense to you.

my only solution now, is to hurry up with high school and try not to pay attention to fucktards and get the fucking hell out of vancouver for university so i dont have to roll my eyes 24/7.

annoy annoy annoy

i have severe people-finding problems. and i know there are plenty out there too. for now, i live in my own head and daydream my time away.

this time, maybe she'll fall in love

oooooooooo

i forgot to tell you all, while i was on my skiing trip, on the last day when i was returning my rental skis, i saw all these little kids in ski school or whatever and there was a teacher with them and he was uber tall and i kind of recognized him and then something in my mind went CLICK and i remembered that he was mr. cowie and i went OH MY GOD ARE YOU KIDS FROM GLEN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL?!?!?!?!!? and the lil kid says Yes, and i am like OH MY GOD IS MS WEGRICH STILL THERE AND MR STELLA AND MR KRAYLEY? AND THATS MR COWIE RIGHT THERE! and the kid says yes, yes yes yes! and im like AHHH HOLY SHIT except i didnt say holy shit, i said something in the lines of oh my god oh my god, in a very loud and uncontrollable voice.

then i went up to mr cowie and im like HI I REMEMBER YOU FROM WHEN I WENT TO GLEN ELEMENTARY WHEN I WAS IN GRADE FIVE! and he's like who are you? and im like I WAS IN MS WEGRICHS GRADE 5 CLASS and i was totally hyper and superduper excited from the fucking sweeping nostalgia. i yelled some more to my friends but im sure none of them knows why this was so exciting.

god.

i remember i went on the whistler trips when i was in grade 4 and 5. it was back when i was still living in coquitlam.

the whole thing was so goddamned welcoming. i miss grade 5. i miss the tiny elementary school in the suburbia where you are not allowed to swear and where you have reading buddies in grade 4 and where you play in the gravel playground and where you have to wait and count to at least 60 when someone is on the swingset and you want to get on and where you are the oldest grade when you are in grade 5, and you go off to graduation camp when you are 12, and where you sing o canada in english and french, and where you have a picture of terry fox in front of the office (he went to the school) and where you have the big fat stage in the gym. aghaghaghaghagh.

you write such pretty words, but life's no storybook

my usual 3-day school skiing trip to whistler was fun. i'm beginning to think that i enjoy myself more when i'm not jumping around obsessing about people. gasp, i know. i have uber-improved in my skiing, which was never really my thing, but it cant hurt to be good at something. i didn't take any pictures, but i plan to steal some from my friends. lots of gossip went around during the trip, which made me go Ehn.

On thursday night, everybody crowded over to our lodge to watch the canucks hockey game, and more popularly, the OC. i still dont really get why it's good yet, this one being the second episode ever watched, but i assume the faux rich-teen melodrama gets addicting after a while.

on the 3 hour bus ride back to vancouver, people were being obnoxious and plus dara and i were sitting in front of eric, which can only be so fun. not. i pretended to be uber-absorbed into my music and looked out the never-changing scenery, while thinking about random shit, like I wonder how many girls on this bus are wearing tampons right now, and I hope the valentines day/dance doesnt suck, please, for the love of god.

phew.

today i couldnt keep my eyes off this teenaged guy and girl holding hands. he wore a white blazer-typey jackety thing and she wore a denim skirt. too too perfect.

i wanted to get a bob haircut, but the hairdresser dude was all like "Your hair will look ugly if you get a bob haircut because your hair is too thick and blahblahblah blachadsfkjsdlfdf its better if you leave it long and maybe get highlights, what do you think?" so i got it trimmed, but that's it. i told my mom How about i dye the ends of my hair purple and she said Oh okay but by then the hairdresser's was nearly closing so we left. i was only two-thirds serious anyway.

what kind of retarded url is ibidreams.blogspot.com?

omg. i got the raymi book dfkjasl;fjsdkjflsdjfkkj!!!$!@!!!!!!!! jason lent me it and i cant wait to read it after i finish the last whatever hundred pages of Pandemic. i read a little bit of it as soon as i got it in the mail and i can tell its already one of my favourite books, or maybe its just cause i am precisely retarded in the same way.

hi everybody. my old blog, strange days, died as of january 10th because schoolpeople googled their names and found my blog and what i wrote wasnt very flattering. it wasnt very false, either, but people don't care about that part. call me a wuss. i had to delete it, i didnt want them regularly poking into my life. now that i am done grieving over the death of my last blog, i have created a new one. i try to console myself with the fact that my old blog mostly sucked, despite the fact i wrote so much.

ibi dreams of pavement.

on sunday, i went to my photography course on granville island and i met this eighteen-year-old guy named Mike in the advanced class. he was a genius artist and his photos that he was developing were insanely breathtaking. my instructor kept saying "this guy is going to be something big one day, i know it." mike scared me because he had so much talent, and his photos scared me because they were a hundred percent artistic, with every line and curve and angle at its perfection. i had to run away from the darkroom quickly. i never thought beauty could be scary, oh but it so is.

ibi dreams of pavement

Well I got shot right in the back
And you weren't there, you weren't there
And I said I was never coming back
You weren't there, you weren't there
And I know the islands are under attack
You weren't there, you weren't there
And that's all the passion wants to attract
'Cause you weren't there, you weren't there

And if God is waiting
Cut the hands off the minions
Don't get high on what you create

Well I saw the desert turn into rain
You weren't there, you weren't there
And all this attraction's made it on time
'Cause you weren't there, you weren't there
And all of the nice boys wait for the sign
You weren't there, you weren't there
And all of the time, the time, the time

And if love is what they gave
Turnin' wives into heroes
Don't get high on what you create
Or it might just steal you.