anyone else but you

You are always trying to keep it real
and I'm in love with how you feel

314am vancouver time. i have to wake up in sixish hours and i'm preeeetty much fuckin' dead right now but i needed to prepare some stuff for tutoring tomorrow. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. my eyelashes are heavy with dried mascara gunk that i should probably wash off. sleepy sleepy sleepy spllejfsyf.

tutored in the morning, then took a giant ass nap, had a nightmare (wtf is UP with these stupid dreams these days?) then bussed downtown to Guu for a delish dinner with dara and denise. pictures coming soon. sooooooo yummmieeeee i want some more of that salmon sashimi yukke thingies. AHHHHH i wish toronto had a Guu. my DREAM. here are piccies from the website (i am drooling right now by the way).

went to esty's house afterwards where she gifted me an AWESOME button that she made herself with her button-making kit. i am buying one of those kits asap so i can possibly make buttons to sell at fuckin' canzine next year. yknow. three to five dollars apiece. haha.

the bunch of us, rox, es, dara, denise, and i, we drank tea and ate a fuckload of airpopped popcorn that es made. then we gossiped and chilled and shared stories from the last four months and it was so awesome that i was sad to come home and realize that i'm leaving home in ONE FREAKING WEEK! temporary depression ensued. i use the term 'depression' way too lightly don't i? fine, i was super-sad. le sigh. ALL I EVER WANT TO DO is chill with friends and family who love me and waste time with them.

cooooool beans. i'm kinda looking forward to next semester and simultaneously not looking forward to it. it's gonna go by in a snap though. by april i will be done a quarter of university schooling, assuming i do not go to grad school (which i will probs).

why can't life be so easy peasy lemon squeezy.

let me out

just finished watching Mean Girls on my laptop and its freaking 430am. ahhhhhhhhhhhh. cant sleep now, i missed my chanceeeeeee. grrr.

i think i will do a "my favourite movies/cds of 2007 list" later. REMIND ME K.

fuck... i need to get on a sane sleeping pattern

action is the foundational key to success, says pablo picasso

just spent three gross hours watching crap on tv. mmm VH1 documentaries on the history of the Spice Girls! how tempting. i watched the whole thing with bits of muchmusic vids in between. muchmusic played all these old music videos like avril lavigne and green day and nelly furtado before they started to suck. yknow. it was aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawesome trashtv. sucks everything out of my brain.

now i'm back at my computer clicking 'profile' and 'home' every five seconds on facebook while my mom sits across from me on HER laptop. she presses the play button on the stereo for the gazillionth time and plays the soundtrack to Lady Vengeance. it's very good, go download it off torrents somewheres. it's classical music with an edge. HAHAHA i cannot believe i just used that phrase "with an edge". barf. it consists of lots of violin/strings and harmonium (like a harp piano), which i lurrrve, and sounds sinister. excellent.

anyway my fam totes loves the soundtrack right now and it's all that's been playing in the house and car THE LAST THREE DAYS twentyfourseven. my mom's in love with it and every time we play the soundtrack again from track one, she has a minor seizure like she's swaying to it but more like she's a crazy composer who just created this giant symphony after years of hard work and dedication.

cool.

now my mom and i are messaging animated emoticons to each other on msn. i almost wish i could post them all but them convos don't make sense when one doesn't read korean. (revision: they dont make sense even when one DOES read korean).

N says:
너나 잘하세요
두부 먹으세요
하얗게 되세요
친절한 진희씨

Jen // Fenny says:
HAHAHA

seeyas.

ps. my blog stats just skyrocketed after posting about Juno. dude.

winter song

i braved the biggest mall in BC and went to metrotown on boxing day. resulted in the biggest headache EVER. there were hoards and hoards of people squished against one another in shoe stores, then a fire alarm went off and confused everybody. people kept shopping though. apparently it was a false alarm. i would not want to work in retail among the boxing day exodus. goodness. my mom was trying on shoe and put on the right boot when this woman, another shopper, grabbed mom's left boot and just walked away. we were all very WTF. the lady didn't speak english either. i can't decide if it's the funniest thing or the rudest thing i've seen. the lady bought the same pair of shoes.

then we went to zara and it was the biggest dog-eat-dog shopping experience ever. shudder. i bought a sweater and a shirt and left immediately.

when i came home i totally crashed and slept for a few hours before i went over to lara's house. we ate real fruit gummies and pistachios and chilled then dave and matt came over. we had beer and peach vodka with orangina, then roxy went crazy hyper and there was some debauchery. i was feeling totally sober though. dave was being weird again so i said something funny but i cant remember it. matt was being emo as usual. we wouldn't let him get shitfaced because he was driving.

after that died down we started watching Kinsey. everyone but me fell asleep before the movie ended. i finished watching at 4am and slept until noon, when roxy woke me up. no one else was home except the two of us because lara's fam left for their vacay at their cabin. HAHAHA. rox and i made breakfast, chilled for a few hours then went home.

and now i'm at home. i have to go tutor some kids today (and tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that...), grrrr. anyway i should go and prepare some stuff.

i've been obsessed about Juno since i saw it in theatres. i want to see it again sooooo badly. what the eff. i read the wiki article on Diablo Cody (the screenwriter) and it kind of amazed me. haha.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

it's not enough

hello all.

saw this with the girlies yesterday at fifth avenue cinemas, which is my favourite theatre here:



it was a wonderful movie with an amazing actress (ellen page). will probably see it again when i buy the dvd, unless i'm too impatient and pay $8 to see it in theatres again. the soundtrack is pretty damn good too.

earlier yesterday, we had breakfast at sophie's cosmic cafe and swapped presents too. i got some pretty wicked gifts. roxy gave me charcoal pencils and yoshitomo nara postcards. dara gave me watercolours and a pad of sketchbook paper. lara gave me a little white teapot and a nightmare before christmas poster. denise gave me a fugitives cd. awesome possum. it was so great to have the five of us in one place again like the old days. so. effing. great. we walked around west 4th and i bought a pair of plaid chucks for $16.

++

today (technically yesterday, xmas eve, but i haven't gone to bed yet) i saw paul and john for the first time in four months, which was soooo incredibly great.

me: i'm 18 years old right now, right?
john: yeah which means you can drink in a year.
me: *laughs
john: "tell me honestly how many times you did? i wont tell your mom. *smile
me: haha anyway. im 18 now and i'll probably die when i'm like 85, 88 to make it easy math. that means 70 years more of life, right?
john: right.
me: it's not enough.
john: you think so?
me: uh-huh.

++

went shopping for a whopping 45 minutes with mom and sis at metrotown. holy shizat, the metrotown mall has changed hella. i hardly recognize it. they have some decent shops now. hahaha i may go back there later for some major boxing day insanity. we had dinner at a korean restaurant then drove around for two hours around neighbourhoods just looking at xmas light decorations while blasting music and singing. i sang as if i were drunk. now i have a throaty voice. anyway we went through about five of the gazillion mix cds in my mom's car. the last song we played was Nirvana's The Man Who Sold The World, which i hadn't heard in ages. AGES. that mix cd was maybe the first one i ever made, from grade nine or ten. we listened the shit out of it when we drove to Squamish for a swim meet (50 kilometres from Vancouver).

cool. i love my fam's random go-for-drive things. we hadn't had one in a while. it almost always has to be at night in the darkness, and few cars on the street. tonite it was like a ghost town, everyone was inside having xmas dinner. no cars. pretty fucking awesome i'd say.


came home and i danced to I Am The Walrus and burned another mix cd and chilled before watching Half Nelson, which was another terrific movie.

my sister is excited to open christmas presents tomorrow. our little tree is decked out in red baubles and little candy canes. we just decorated it this afternoon. can't wait for the morning.

talked to bryan again on msn. gah i think he likes me more than i like him. a little weird.

happy christmas.

she's the kind of girl you want so much it makes you sorry, still you don't regret a single day

finished watching Lady Vengeance. it's going on my favouritest movies ever list. how can murder be so artistically beautiful? and hilarious? watch the movie if you can, it will most likely be in the foreign section of your video store. the movie reminds me of a very morbid Amelie.

it's too bad about the subtitles though. they kind of sucked. so obviously you should take up some korean lessons, become fluent, then watch the movies without them subtitles.

going to see the girlies tomorrow morninggggggggg at sophie's cosmic cafe to have brunch. swapping gifts, etc. hoorayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

asldkfjslkfjsldjfljflewoifjwoifjsjewoifjiojowiejfowjowjfw

all the while my fortune faded

officially finished all of christmas shopping. finally. ps. remind me to never develop pictures from london drugs ever again, they are SHIT quality plus they charge way too fucking much.

right now the tension in my house is so thick you could cut a cube of it with a knife. my sister and my mom had an argument and i am the supposed mediator as always. my sister's being a fucktard and my mom's getting older and i think they're tired of each other while desperately wanting to be the best mother/daughter combo. it is extremely scary to imagine my sister and my mom estranged and i'm having minor panic attacks. but i'm probably imagining it all and going crazy.

denise is back and i haven't spoken to her yet. her and some girlies are having dinner then crashing zack's house but i am too tired to even THINK about dragging my ass to his house. the thought of seeing minis altogether kind of make me cringe too, i don't really know why. i guess i will see them on new years eve though. at least i will be drunk enough not to be irked by everybody (read: aiden). the last thing i need is everyone's loud banter... right?

gosh, who knows. i cannot tolerate anything besides myself today. time to be a loser and wrap more gifts (i am santa's little elf) and watch Sympathy for Lady Vengeance and Science of Sleep. fuck ya!

goodness.

i can show you the world

went to the dentist in the morning and explored the korean markets afterwards (north road in burnaby). major chill time with mom WITHOUT michelle, thank fuck. my sister is becoming the most annoying brat of all time. ugh. whatevs. we bought a crapload of groceries and ate noodles and dumplings from a restaurant and she bought me asian makeup as x-mas gifts. hahaha.

went over to lara's house in the evening. we started watching aladdin on lara's laptop then ester and her crew joined us then dave joined us and we were really loud in lara's basement. ester's crew were her friends from her private school days. the queen's university kids (there were three) were UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLY annoying and pretenders and arrogant. i bet even their shadows brag wherever they go. they were sharing drinking stories and tales from frosh week, how INCREDIBLY predictable and lame. i really tried to like them too. they alone turned me off from going to that school EVER. (not that i ever had the intention to go there, anyway; i could never be holed up in a city smaller than vancouver). plus dave goes there, a definite minus. ha ha i am soooo clever.

ester was all "oooh queen's kids have so much school spirit, i wanna go there next year maybe." oh great ester YOU were the one who wanted me to accompany you to toronto, thanks.

anyway after a while micheal and david came over and then some shit happened then pretty much everyone went home except for me and dave and lara. the three of us finished watching aladdin, which was pretty goddamn amaaaaaaaaaaaazing. I LOVE THE SONGS and characters. i realized i've never seen the movie in english. it was rad times infinity.

cool. so theres my day. i thought id give dave a chance but noooo he is as freaky as he is in msn conversations. righto. god, no wonder i needed to get the fuck out of this high school mould. not saying i embrace my new life wholly, but seriously there are some PROBLEMS with this whole thing. like the PEOPLE in it!!!!

inside and out

more creepiness, brought to you by david. (who else?)


Lara says:
David says:
oh cus im bored
David says:
and kinda wana do something tonite after my dinner
Lara says:
hahaha
Lara says:
jen and i might hang out

Lara says:
then silence

Lara says:
hahahahahahhahahahahahaa

Jen // Fenny says:
ooo thats painful

Lara says:
hahahaha

Lara says:
i love it

Lara says:
now i dont know what to say to him

Jen // Fenny says:
shut up

Lara says:
no thats not what i meant

Jen // Fenny says:
whatEVER

+++

Lara says:
im so amused by david for some reason

Jen // Fenny says:
and by amused you mean...

Lara says:
i mean amused

Lara says:
im serious

Lara says:
jesus

Jen // Fenny says:
ok

+++

Lara says:
jen

Jen // Fenny says:
lar

Lara says:
have you been talking to david a lot

Jen // Fenny says:
no

Lara says:
he is creeping me out

Jen // Fenny says:
why

Lara says:
i think he wants you

Jen // Fenny says:
uh what

Jen // Fenny says:
whats he saying

Lara says:
hahaha no i can't tell you any more

Jen // Fenny says:
you better not be fucking around with me lara

Lara says:
im not

Lara says:
why, do you want him too?

Lara says:
im serious

Jen // Fenny says:
i didnt talk to him at all the last four months except once when he was like i might come to toronto

Jen // Fenny says:
i dont want him at all

Jen // Fenny says:
serious

Lara says:
thank god

Jen // Fenny says:
whats he saying!

Lara says:
david is a freakzoid

Jen // Fenny says:
no shit sherlock

Jen // Fenny says:
WHATS HE SAYING

+++

Lara says:
k nevermind i might have overinterpreted

Lara says:
he's being super weird

Jen // Fenny says:
copy and paste it

Lara says:
but still...........be on your guard

Jen // Fenny says:
be on my guard?!?!!

Lara says:
yes

Jen // Fenny says:
you sound like hes going to rape me

Jen // Fenny says:
wtf

Lara says:
hahahahaha

Jen // Fenny says:
LARA

Lara says:
David says:
does jen hav a bf?
Lara says:
you weirdo
Lara says:
you make me laugh
David says:
hmmm it is jen....
Lara says:
no she doesnt
David says:
well i can dream a blue moon cant i?

Jen // Fenny says:
UHH

Lara says:
but apparently the dreaming a blue moon was referring to you having a boyfriend

Lara says:
not to him wanting you.......which was how i interpreted it

Jen // Fenny says:
he says it in the creepiest way possible

Lara says:
i know..........what a creep

Jen // Fenny says:
so weird

my favourite thing in the world right now

justice - d.a.n.c.e. (3:06)



SOOOOO RAD.

just as easy as a-b-c

hello hello. im eating a raw clove of garlic right now. very yummy. hahahahaha maybe i want to subconciously fend off any vampires. i spent the nite NOT going to eric's party but chilling in my house and wrapping gifts and burning four mix cds and sitting across from my mom (we were both on our laptops) and helping my sister study for her social studies test and listening to music and taking pointless pictures.

my nite's been pretty awesome.

i talked to adam too on msn and that kind of made my day. haha

inspiration, motivation, education, reads an earth day pamphlet

magic ponyyyy

hello all.

i've spent maybe $160 in the last fourish days alone. goodness! i love gift-shopping though. makes me feel so good. i've already gone shopping in pacific centre, robson, south granville, main street, west 4th and oakridge mall... holy crap that is a lot in a short time. all over the place too. i got the best present ever for ester, i will take a picture of it later.

seems like time is flying by, now that i'm home. jeez i can't believe i've been home for a WHOLE WEEK. how depressing that i will be back in school so soon. this is unacceptable. the other day, the bunch of us baked sugar cookies and decorated them with coloured icing. just chilling. it's something i haven't done for a long time. have i blogged about this already? i think so. i have the worst headache right now, it's throbbing pain in my head. it feels like someone spilled hot candle wax in the folds of my brain.

dara and i bought a shiny cocktail shaker for malcolm so he can be pretentious about his so-called bartending skills. i can just vision him pouring liquors together to make some big fancy martini or some shit. aww, it's perfect for him. haha. it's in a box with nice red wrapping paper with gold ribbon. the shop giftwrapped it.

i have to finalize dara and denise's presents then i'm completely done xmas shopping. how productive was i this shopping season?!

i love chilling with old friends. i dont know why but my new friends in toronto seem to be made out of a different material completely. like stone and clay. or wood and metal. maybe it's the west coast/east coast thing. i only just realized how laid back west coasters are. not that they are more superior or anything of that sort. just different.

a rigourous journey

uhh, small world. i just discovered (through the magic of facebook, no doubt) that my best friend from grade four/five/six now goes to university of toronto. WHAT THE HELL. dood.

mysterions

Holy shit. I just saw Oldboy for the first time. Sooo disturbing but amazingly acted and executed. I usually can't stand the slightest bit of blood and gore... but this movie is probably one of my favourites now. Go rent it or download it, there are versions with English subtitles out there. Quick synopsis:

After a drunken night on the town, an ordinary Seoul businessman, OH Dae-su (CHOI Min-sik) wakes up in the morning to discover he has been locked up, without explanation, in a mysterious prison, his home for the next 15 years. When, suddenly and inexplicably, Dae-su finds himself freed, a voice on a cell phone taunts him into discovering who kept him imprisoned. Dae-su plunges into a world of competing vengeance, his own drive for revenge matched by the equally implacable and considerably more Byzantine scheming of his mysterious nemesis.

Fucking rad.

peaches and cream

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

i'm coming to town

i got my hair cut! it's shorter and layered and rock and roll. or so i'd like to think. it's very good hair for swishing around and rocking out because of the bangs. i LOVE my new hair. in any case i dont even care if its shit ugly at this point, i desperately needed a change. goodness.

went shopping with mum today on robson street. i convinced her enough to buy some new clothes for herself. hahahaha. oooooo dear what a job. she bought a pink sweater from zara and now i'm thinking i may have to buy the exact same one for myself.

seeing dara tomorrow after her math exam. i am beyond excited. wheee wheeee wheeeeeee

good riddance

x-mas wishlist, in somewhat order

1. a pro flickr account: approx CA $25.10 [click HERE and "gift pro account"]
2. dvds: ghost world, taxi driver, annie hall, across the universe, motorcycle diaries, etc.
3. magazines with lots and lots of pictures
4. magazine subscription to Nylon (subscribed to my Toronto address)

ok thats all for now because i have to go out

jingle jingle

saw Lara this morning and watched her fam in their christmas spirit. went shopping on main street and west 4th with Es and Rox. had coffee and paninis and soup at Liberty. looked for Roxy's new snowboard. there were ones with Andy Warhol art on them. came home and watched Fight Club. went back to Lara's to make sugar cookies with the girlies. we did online quizzes like Which Drink Are You? (I am a cosmopolitan) and Which Famous Leader Are You? (I am Che Guevara). Jer drove me back and i listened to music with mom and complained to her that she is a workaholic while she nodded off, bleary-eyed.

there's my day. tomorrow i am going shopping with mom, if i am lucky. fuck i hardly see my family it's so incredibly ridiculous and i hate it.

sigh.

online quiz results, because i know y'all care:

Which Drink Are You?
Rox: "tie" between beer and cosmo
Me: cosmo
Lara: "tie" between beer and wine

Which Friends Character Are You?
Rox: Phoebe
Me: Phoebe
Es: "tie" between Monica and Chandler
Lara: Ross (i think?)

Which Famous Leader Are You?
Rox: Abe Lincoln
Rox, answered by everyone except Rox: JFK
Es: Einstein (too strange)
Es, answered by everyone except Es: Einstein
Lara: JFK
Lara, answered by everyone except Lara: (this one took forever and created heated discussions) Saddam Hussein
Me: Che Guevara

Which Famous Artist Are You?
Rox: "tie" between Andy Warhol and Marcel Duchamp
Es: Vincent Van Gogh
Lara: Leonardo Da Vinci
Me: "tie" between Da Vinci and Ansel Adams



k cool.

that's what makes me stronger

i am in a whirlpool of emotions. i am sort of overwhelmed, i need to find my peace. the day before yesterday i hung out with roxy and her friends at ubc rez, it was too too too too fun. i will write a giant detailed post later maybe. it was so good to see roxy, we were jumping up and down and screaming and every five minutes we were like, sigh, i'm glad youre here. i talked to pat and malcolm, they also live in vanier. apparently i was with malcolm for hours but it seemed like fifteen minutes to me. i was so happy to see him i kissed his cheeks and just kept looking at him and repeating the same words. pat gave me his cellphone number and i added myself on his msn while i was in his room. ha. i slept over at roxy's room after much drunken and high debauchery then i went home on the #25 bus, which tripped me out completely because i haven't been on that bus for so long. i came home and watched half of fight club which made me sadder than i already was, then i went to see my sister's vancouver youth symphony orchestra concert. it was an amazing show and i wanted to sit in my seat forever and let the sounds of the violins and cellos sway over me eternally. i came home and talked to lara. i had a crazy bewildering msn conversation with josh about my and his depression, which made me feel calm. i fell asleep in the couch and i woke up abruptly at exactly 7 o'clock, before going back to sleep again. i had a nightmare that i was forever walking up the stairs to get to a 13th floor classroom (note: there are no classrooms on the 13th floor) and i was late and i thought i was going to explode. i woke up with my fists clenched. now i am going to lara's house to join in her family holiday festivities -- we're making a gingerbread house.

vancouver time 931am

listen to the passage of time

oh my god, the ocean. THE PACIFIC FUCKING OCEAN!

OH GOD, I AM HOME. and it feels pretty fucking surreal.

i feel like i'm walking in a dream and everything is going to dissolve into light particles the second i wake up in the morning. i feel like my house and my mom and my sister are ghosts and fragments of my imagination. my house is the best thing in the world, EVER. it is simply amazing. the off-white walls and beige carpet and living room futon and blue 'n' yellow comforters and FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!! my apartment building felt like a hotel when i was walking in the hallways.

i had a giant korean meal with my mom and sis in Richmond (aka Toronto's Markham equivalent in Vancouver) then came home and everything amazed me. sooooo much has happened in the last four months, but now that i am here, it feels like i've been gone for a very very very long minute. whoa what a fuckin' head trip.

crazy.

i am seeing roxy tomorrow and we are going shopping and i think i might see her rez room in UBC too. HOLY FUCKING HOORAY I'm really here. I'm home. i think i might cry.

ps. dara! i wanted to call you too but by the time i got off the phone with rox i realized it was way too fucking late. (it was late when i called roxy too, 11pm, ha). sorry. ilu.

i told you i was trouble

things i ate and drank today:

1 fruit cup with pineapple, cantaloupe wedges and grapes
1 chicken caesar salad with bacon bits
1 bottle of amazon green tea
1 litre of water (i know this because i have it in a nalgene bottle)
1 bottle of lemonade
1 bag of pretzels
2 miss vickys jalapeno chips (yes, 2 chips)
2 handfuls of oatmeal crisp cereal

I AM GOING TO BE HOME SWEET HOME IN 30 HOURS. HOORAY

i studied for three hours straight with no break and i have the worst migraine. come on help me tylenol!!!

i never knew you

read more of allen ginsberg today. i think i should stop reading it though because it makes me want to go back to my old life, or some other life that i never had. why am i soooooooooo weird. anyway i recommend his poetry and his journals. read them.

having six conversations on msn right now. a convo with my mom and dad in one window. the three of us are all in different time zones. haha wow.

had a giant talk with bryan today, and he's making me feel dlsakgj;sladjglsdjfsldjgasdjfwe again about university and EVERYTHING blablablablablablablablabalbalbalabla. i could be dramatic about this but what's the use?

saner post later (maybe)

fuck. its 330am!

feel my heart beat now

the new snow made fantastic lighting for taking pictures

a fuckload of garbage by such an awesome mural
this one deserves some ironic title, but alas, i can't think of anything

i want this in my room

sketchville alley

i want to take pictures with Es here someday... hop over the fence
and go on the roofs

oh christmas tree

all my favourite colours


my current desktop wallpaper

am i ever going to get sick of seeing the mothafuckin' huge billboards by the eaton centre?
snowflakes

ray made a heart
aha



ray looking snarky

we went over to otie's house. this is her neighbourhood, east of downtown toronto

kitty! (i think that's my reaction to anything cat-related)

one of otie's numerous paintings. this is a portrait of her older sister, kalina

otie and her sisters

no walls upstairs are painted the same colour. this creates a psychedelic effect, especially with all the paintings and sculptures and photos and masks and kitschy junk and props (otie's parents are actors).

otie's room

one of her two cats

creepy shadows

we had a tea party

lemon cookies with icing, biscotti, apricot and fig cookies, hard toast with cream cheese, cooked plantines with spicy pepper dip

oh, and tea. we had three kinds, three separate tiny teapots.
heh, feels like high tea... except i was actually stuffed by the end
the plantines with dip were so, so, so, so, so yummy

elli, otie's younger sister. she was the craziest eleven year old i've ever met

living room. haha see how cluttered it is. awesome!

persimmons

otie and elli

the four of us (otie, ray, elli and i) watched WAITRESS in her living room. she has a freakin old tv set, it was kinda crazy. there were stacks and stacks of vhs tapes that otie's parents were in. hahahahahha. i bought the pirated dvd for Waitress for less than $3. it was a promo dvd and it kept switching to black and white in the middle of the scene, dammit! it was really distracting. the movie was lovely as i remembered in theatres, though. the characters seem real (except for maybe the doctor). the movie made me crave pie afterwards.

i'm starting to trip

a real conversation from april 26, 2006:

.dara says:
GO TO BED YOU CREEP CRAZY HOBBIT

- Jen - Fenny says:
BRING YOUR BALLS

++++

didn't leave my room all day today except to get the newspaper, to go see the doctor, and to get food. i feel like the Beast from Beauty and the Beast, watching life swirl around me via my only window to the outside world, the internet. haha.

going home in 3 days and i haven't packed yet. shit. i need to study too. and fold that giant pile of laundry that's been there since the weekend.

a real post soon, i promise.

i loves you, porgy

.dara says:
hrm.. what was it that made rox high

Jen // Fenny says:
????

.dara says:
like rmb when she was sick for like ever
her doctor prescribed her something run of the mill and it made her high

Jen // Fenny says:
sheesh
run of the mill?
what does that mean

.dara says:
I want to say benylin but I think not
like.. something you don't really need to have a prescription for
like not some random acetylcocoophus drug or sth

Jen // Fenny says:
whoa.... what.
O.o

.dara says:
i totally just made that up

Jen // Fenny says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
i love you

reading time with pickle

i feel bad because i didn't study at all for my first exam (because i was being weighed down by my fuckin' article). everyone else is studying their asses off. ughhh. and i only have two exams, the second exam being the easy peasy bird course exam. barf!

watched Factory Girl tonite. it was pretty mediocre, but at least it was pretty to look at and entertaining for a while because of the heavy name-dropping (see: velvet underground).

...

my existence feels so meaningless right now. thanks allen ginsberg! your journals make me feel incompetent and boring and unintelligent.

i want to be the girl with the most cake

went to yorkdale mall with bryan. i bought three shirts from h&m and two dvds from hmv. the dvds are for myself and my sister, "pulp fiction" and "water", respectively. i also bought a scarf from aldo then realized i spent too much for the day, so i returned it, but didn't get a full refund. so whack. in any case, a WHITE SCARF is the last thing i need.

i dragged bryan into sephora and i got all googly-eyed seeing all that crazy expensive makeup. i hardly wear makeup and i was tempted to buy all these nifty little things, okay! what a consumerist freak i am becoming.

haha, i just described makeup as "nifty".

he bought a pretzel and gave me half. then i subway'ed back to rez, clutching my goods. i'll put up pictures of my new shit later, maybe.

there was this store called Lucky Brand and they had really cool sweatshirts... ah whateves.

+++

information about the girl who died in my rez is up on the school news website... there's a picture of her and everything, but it doesn't tell us much except that she was diabetic. there are comments from her mom. i wonder if it was suicide. so fucking creepy.

misirlou

went to see ester and dave at u of t. dave played well, i needed a dose of live music because the last time i had any was in october. had a private talk with ester. she cried because she is unhappy with her life. i walked back to rez at 2 in the morning, by myself, through queen's park. sketchiest of the sketch. anyway im pretty tired so i'll put up pictures and stories later.

sam was at the horseshoe tavern's 60th anniversary party last nite and told me there was free beer/cake and that they didn't even ID her. i coulda gone had i known about it earlier! well, maybe.

going to yorkdale mall tomorrow. is my head going to explode from all this consumerism? probably. i havent bought that much shit, though i am thoroughly tempted to shop my fucking ass off. why yorkdale mall? bryan wants to show me around.

ok bye

give me coffee & tv

So give me coffee and TV History I've seen so much I'm goin blind And I'm braindead virtually Sociability Is hard enough for me Take me away form this big bad world And agree to marry me So we can start all over again

+++

had thai food with sam, then we went to h&m and looked at xmas shirts. shiiiiit im tempted to go on a massive shopping rage for party shirts. i like shiny colourful fabric!

ester called with some mad story about her bad day. she was late to her exam and other things. i'm going to see her tonite at dave's jazz concert. but i don't want to walk all the way to queen's park in the cold, goddammit.

my best friend tylenol

i have a migraine. uhhehehww;lksdjfasughghghghg;llfds.

i typed in "christmas" into my itunes and got surprisingly many results. so technically i'm listening to carols right now. aimee mann, bright eyes, sufjan stevens, walkmen, fiona apple... and OF COURSE mariah carey. hahaha.

last nite ray and i went to a musical "White Christmas" after a Subway's dinner, then came back to rez and watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang in her room while drinking hot chocolate and eating chocolates out of her advent calendar.

dundas square















i'm pretty awesome.

ray
sony centre for performing arts, two blocks from union station

more at my flickr. my pro account expires today :(

"White Christmas" was a typical musical, making you feel so loved and happy and about to explode into a million bits of confetti from all the christmas cheer. the songs were pretty awesome. during intermission ray and i were bouncing off the walls, pepped up from the songs. afterwards i almost went into a recession-depression because i had to face reality. hahahaha oh so sad.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang was a 13 out of 10 on the awesomeness scale. neeeeeeeed to watch it again. seriously, you will love it. hilarious murder mystery. i'm putting that movie on my xmas wishlist.

i finally vacuumed my room after, oh you know.. about THREE EFFIN WEEKS without vacuuming properly. i know it's gross, you do not need to comment so. i bought $14 worth of cereal and junk food. HAHAHA. ohhhh dear. tonite i'm going to have dinner with sam and maybe check out david's jazz concert if i feel like it. sigh

ciao

ps. someone in rez was found dead in her room yesterday night. ray and i were out, so we missed the emergency meeting, but it's so fucking whack. some think it's a suicide but they're doing an autopsy today so we don't know yet, and anyway i doubt they will give us the details. she was carried out yesterday at 8pm apparently. she was a fashion student, and had diabetes, but some think she might have been drinking when she died? a thousand rumours have reached my ears, and i'm the rez recluse, so there must be more.

scalding hot coffee rag

yesterday:


hello














oh christmas tree






three dip platter






tired?