i just wrote a super uber freaky rant of a blog post and i 'drafted' it because it was almost scary.

uh.

i want spring break nownownownownownownownow

i went to see the doctor today. i seriously don't trust doctors. im always afraid their advice is all wrong.

i have testsassignmentshomeworkarticles to studyfinish, but meh.

SING ME A LULLABY!
i used to be super good at singing lullabies. you know, the classic ones composed by mozart, et al? that was when i was still a piano freak (which is a loooong time ago).

when i was five or six, i used to wait until the grown-up section of the church emptied out, then i would play that song "the swan" or whatever it's called, on the shiny grand piano. i loved the echo-y sounds that resonate when i press the pedal. and i loved the empty pews. and i loved being alone in the middle of the big hall, on the podium and playing the piano. i would probably be wearing a fat maroon velvet dress, no doubt, (this is my sunday dress) with shiny red shoes. true story. i was a pretty devout little christian girl. woah.

i dont know why or how it happened, but all that stopped when i was around eleven. i mean the christian part. now i can't see myself believing God at all. it's too weird too think about because i used to believe in the whole shebang and so does half the planet currently, but now it just seems like an elaborate story that has some pseudo-beautiful context.


i just read what i wrote and i didn't understand a single word. i am so poor at making myself sound eloquent.