all my life i've been searching for something

my blog is locked.

This blog has been locked by Blogger's spam-prevention robots. You will not be able to publish your posts, but you will be able to save them as drafts.

soooo i dont know when this post will actually be published. but in the meanwhile, let me rant.

YESTERDAY IN HISTORY CLASS:

Mr. Historyteacher: settle down, class. let me read the school bulletin... hm... there's something here about students going to queen's university. anyone?

Rachel: OH, ME! IM GOING TO QUEENS! READ IT!

Mr. Historyteacher: "students who are applying to queens should do yadda yadda blah bwah blah by the deadline".

Rachel: OH whatEVER. I ALREADY GOT INTO QUEENS!


*giant, stony silence*


HAHAHA WHAT A LOSER. it was hilarious because the entire class was embarrased for her. has she advertised it enough yet? i think maybe the entire universe knows after that day when she screamed in the library ... when she got accepted...

i dont think i could survive in kingston. but who knows, really... i could become a totally different person when i go away.

no one there will know me so i can create an entire new persona. hahahaha how wicked would THAT be? not that i want to become a new person, but i want people to think differently of me. i dont even know why. i'm just dissatisfied with whatever i have right now. not exactly dissatisfied, but bored.

go grease lightning, turning up the quarter mile (go grease lightning, go grease lightning!)

oh yeah. through the MAGIC of facebook, i have found friends i've had in grade five/six/seven. HAHAHAHAH oh man. it feels surreeaaaaaaal that they are still alive.

ew that sounded egocentric.

i wonder what woulda happened had i not moved to vancouver.

i'm still listening to GREASE tunes from the tape deck. i want to burst out into song. man, i love musicals.

PWERS: gimme a dollar if you want to buy a "landmine awareness" button/pin. all proceeds go to removing landmines!

at home, drawing pictures of mountaintops with him on top, lemon yellow sun, arms raised in a v, the dead lay in pools of maroon below

oh yes. i had an epiphany tonite. i should remind you that the pearl jam song "jeremy" is beyond awesome.

i wish i had been there for the whole seattle sound thing.

bye.

my mom randomly found a thing of kahlua in the kitchen. god knows how long it's been there... it tasted like corn syrup.

in other news, i have tests tomorrow. what else is new?

i wrote a ballad in writing! i like it a lot because it is WHIMSICAL. it's about grape juice made from white grapes. and about magic marbles. and three-eyed hags. i am a literary genius....

...not.

i might go to korea this summer. gah it's going to be hella hectic as soon as i graduate. i gotta do enough shit with my friends over the summer plus make money plus go to korea plus go to wherever im going for university, which is definitely not here.

i might be going to the Feist concert and maybe even the damien rice show. i will be pretty shit-broke if i go to both though.

this is brilliant

ha.


today is bad day because i was crazy earlier and my mom was slightly scared of me.

i was crazy because i flipped. i flipped because i forgot my dad's birthday.

he's 47 as of two days ago.

i remembered about his birthday a few days ago but failed to remember on the actual date. ugh. of all the birthdays i forget. i am a retard times seven. i had an emo moment.

when i go crazy i flail my arms and have mini tantrums.

i found a cassette tape of GREASE tunes and i am obsessed. we have one cassette deck in the house. i like to sing along.


ps. did you know that "emo" backwards is "ome"?

oh yes. let me remind myself by scribing this down in my blog: I HAD THE BESTESTESTESTEST DREAM EVER tonite. oh jeez.

note to future self: remember the dream. okay?!

graduation is going to be crazy, i think.

god! anyone watch the entire Academy Awards like i did? i sat down on my couch at 4 30pm to see the red carpet shiz and didn't leave it until it ended five hours later. phew. WHAT A WORKOUT. i was all clammy and nervous for some weird reason.

i really really want to (and should) see The Departed, Pan's Labyrinth, and Babel. they won 4, 3, 1 Oscar, respectively.

entire list of winners

i loved nicole kidman's dress. so brilliant. i also went gaga over ryan gosling because he was nominated best actor (first canadian to do so for many years). i need to see Half Nelson.

...

i have math/chem/whatever homework due tomorrow and i am scrood x infinity because my brain is elsewhere tonite. damn you Oscars.

i am sooo bad with procrastination...

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

the more i think about it, the more i want to a happy generic character from a tragically craptacular hollywood movie.

my life feels like a goddamn wes anderson movie. why am i so LOST.

this album cover is so psychedelic.

whoa. atlas shrugged is going to be made as a movie!

speaking of movies, today was total chick flick nite. it seems like i've watched twenty. well, they were all on tv and i watched bits and pieces.


bridget jones diary (barf, except for colin firth, who is a master genius of cliche hollywood parts)
four weddings and a funeral
little women
out of africa (which is a hella good movie)


four weddings and a funeral starred Hugh Grant, but i actually liked the movie, which is utterly surprising.

little women was enjoyable. i want to read the book again.

it rained all day today. very cold and very grey. it snowed this morning for a while, even! it was mostly slushy, but still. lara and i went for coffee then spent forever in the bookshop looking for the ideal book to buy.

i feel guilty when i enter a bookshop because i feel like i should have rest so many more books than i have so far.

HAHAHAHA omg. check out avril lavigne's new music video for "girlfriend"

i thot it was hilary duff at first
avril gets choreography! gasp.

close your eyes and i'll kiss you, tomorrow i'll miss you

i watched a gene hackman/al pacino movie called Scarecrow tonite and it was so awesome. jesus. good movies rattle me up. o and i think i am in love with al pacino. hell, i am in love with half the goddamn universe.

anyway... today was pointless
i splurged on sushi and it wasn't even that good sushi
but i was starving so i had to eat.

i need money...

if i am lost for a day
try to find me
calendar girl, who's in love with the world
stay alive


luxe, calme et volupté.

Lara: Happiness is not a fish that you can catch says:
ummm jen sometimes we are SCARY with our mutual appreciation

- Jen - Fenny says:
HAHAH

Lara: Happiness is not a fish that you can catch says:
sometimes im like, MAN why cant jenny be a guy so that we can go have hot *we understand each other completely* sex

im in dire need of new friends.

i am lame and wont shell out $75+ for a fake id to go to the regina spektor concert

o well

today when we were getting frappucinos from starbucks i witnessed something amazing. chelsy and athena (the dumbest bimbosluts you will find at my school) bought two coffees and sat in the outdoor tables.

they each took out their cigarette cartons and lighters and cellphones out of their purses and started smoking away. i was mesmerized by chelsy's hands as she lit the cig and put it to her mouth etc. i think i am seriously psycho in the head.

it was weird because moon and olson (the home ec teachers) were also at starbucks and saw the whole shebang but i guess chels and athena dont really give a shit.

when i worked at cafe crepe my coworkers told me to smoke and i was all umm okaaaaaay

bye

peter mansbridge says its been 10 years exactly since the cloning of Dolly the sheep.

freaky!

that creeps me out a little

anyway. i had pizza with ham green pepper and black olives
it was yummy but soggy.

my phone just told me IF YOU WANT TO HEAR THIS MESSAGE AGAIN, PRESS ONE.

i saddled up my pony ride and rode into the ghostly night

hi

today after school we got frappucinos and went to the park and lay on the benches to watch the bunnyfluff clouds against the bloo sky.

lots of pretty baby sunshine.

we listened to seu jorge.

i need to take some pictures tomorrow for the stupid photo project.

i can't wait till next friday when term two ends!

i have to go prom dress shopping soon. i want a volumious green dress but i dont think that will quite work. i was flipping through some magazines and saw these purple shoes and i wanted those too. HAHAHA.

well i guess there are other prom things to think about.

i want to make some mix cds but i have nobody i can give them to.

3 weeks till italy trip!

story of my LIFE.

this blog is going to have to end soon unless something HAPPENS.

i dont want to make you anticipate or anything, but as soon as term two ends i am slacking off and partying it up every night (OBVIOUSLY). then i might have some MAJORLY exciting stories. ooooo.

i seriously am in dire need of new friends.


From Generation X:


"Claire meanwhile, I noticed peripherally, sitting over on the edge of one of the ocher-silted mineral pools, her feet dangling in the honey-colored murk of water and staring at the sun, now almost set over the mountain. In her small voice she was talking to the sun and telling it she was very sorry if we'd hurt it or caused it any pain. I knew then that we were friends for life."


FRZ 4 LYFE!

kthxbi.

every day's a satuday night, but i can't wait for sunday morning

griffin & sabine!

ahhhh i cant stand school. I NEED A BREAK REAL SOON. teachers are piling up markworthy assignments because it's the final stretch till term 2 ends, ie they need to hand marks in. ugh. next week is going to be hell.

I DONT UNDERSTAND MATH and im the only one freaking out about this test next week.

i went to an art club "meeting" and felt worse and worse because im going to fail my next photography project unless i start working on it real soon. i have less than a week until the due date.

ok enough nerdtalk

TODAY, i obsessed about wes anderson because we watched bits of Rushmore and the Royal Tenenbaums in writing class.

TODAY, i wrote a stupid dingy cd review for that god awful magazine.

TODAY, i listened to my k-os cd that i recieved for xmas.

TODAY... i didn't read the newspaper. i haven't for maybe two three weeks? HAHAHAH. (this is supposed to be a big deal.)

i can't stand anybody on my italy trip. im cringing at the thot of spending 10 days with them? i dont know. right now it looks like my camera will be my best friend HA HA HA loser.

ew.

my right leg hurts. there's a pinched nerve or something behind my knee and the pain runs along my veins in my lower leg. fuck! it feels like someone stabbed me there with a knife.

i am so incredibly unfit and unhealthy, i will probably die of osteoporosis or some shit at the age of fifty.

i am probably exagerating. i hope.

my family did nothing this weekend (ie. lunar new year and yes its lunar not chinese okay even though my friends are probably sneering at me RIGHT NOW).

you know what i realized?

im neither culturally canadian (HAHA what a paradox) nor culturally korean. gasp. the last time i celebrated lunar new year or the last time i ate turkey for xmas happened about two bazillion eons ago. i am what is known as a "gray area immigrant". haha. righto.

anyway. i did homework and i pondered for half an hour why i even care about marks.

i have to do chemistry hwk still...
ugh

can't wait for term two to end when i will have my life back and have friends once again. haha

UNIVERSITIES!!!! ACCEPT ME NOW SO I CAN STOP BEING PERPETUALLY ANGRY!

kthx.

why is it that NO ONE has commented on my amazing photos

fine

anyway. its 1 36 in the AM and i am not sleeping (as you can see) like a normal person would. i am doing stupid scholarship applications that are kind of due soon...

fuckin' procrastination.

i have history first block tomorrow i think i will DIE from this out-of-whack schedule!!! I CANT ABSORB ANYTHING ABOUT WORLD WAR TWO IN THE MORNING. i skipped history once this month and it's already causing problems.

in other news, i got 4 hours of sleep on friday night but 11 hours (!) on saturday night. hahahah. i am so weird.

today i ate mac & cheese and two cans of v8 and more of those chocolate malt ball thingies for dinner.

ok bye!

you are a runner and i am my father's son

handwashing tshirts in the bathtub is fun. NOT

my mom and i drove to vancouver eastside and the whole time i had the window down and my face in the wind. theres nothing i love more than sticking my head out until it's frozen and by then my hands and feet are frozen too. we listened to arcade fire in the car turned up way loud and i felt like i was going to die happily.

soooo i am in love with arcade fire and will be obsessed with them for the next little while. too bad my cd player is broken.

we went to safeway and i bought chocolate malt ball things. yummers. i've probably eaten a dozen already. at this rate i will be enormous.

ps. people! visit my flickrsite. kthxbi.

sooo i have been editing and uploading pictures for about five bazillion hours today! holy FUCK i have taken so many pictures. i dont want to see my camera ever again.

here are some of the more pointful ones. i have about 150 more at flickr. ok maybe not 150, more like 150,000. who knows. seriously go visit the site because im going to kill my blog otherwise.

and no, facebook does not have all of them.

TWO BILLION PORTRAITS OF LARA
(PLUS SOME OTHER PICTURES)
february 16, 2007

DAIRY QUEEN BIRTHDAY CAKE


lara eats her journal


ester is actually a clown.


... and lara is a housewife


arden looks like some autistic kid genius






the freaking awesome bag dara and i bought at cherrybomb


i love this picture for some reason


taken by es






gypsy jewelry lara






spotlight

i'm afraid of who's afraid of virginia woolf

howe and nelson, by herzog

i went to the vancouver art gallery with ester yesterday to see Fred Herzog's photography exhibition. wowee wowee wow. it was pretty wicked. if you live in the greater vancouver area, you should go see.

his photographs of 1950s-1970s vancouver look surreal and glamourous and authentic and eccentric and old and real, which i find hard to believe because i rarely see those qualities in today's vancouver! the photos look like they should be modern because they are crazy technicolor-esque prints, except all men wear hats and all women cotton dresses.

i want to go see them again soon, as well as the other exhibitions at VAG.

from fred herzog's official site


white lunch granville


main barber


four billboards davie


flaneur granville: this one was my favourite.

arrived home about an hour ago... lara/rox's 18th birthday party was fun. i was way too hyper and made stupid comments the way i do when i get a tad bit excited,

like:

me: *triumphantly finger-points at rachelle* HA! YOU HAVE BIG BOOBS!

and the restaurnant goes quiet

i dont know why it was as funnie as it was but it was halarious.
i said some other things too but i forget

rachelle is a JAP. that is a jewish american princess

haha

LARA LOVES MY GIFTS! ROXY LOVES MY GIFTS! and by "my" i mean "our".

malcolm called me at 12 30am and he was a drunk crazy and he said he'd just broken into one of the university buildings as usual. they watch The Office on a big projector while drinking martinis.

malcolm talks in french when he is drunk.

now its 2am and i have to do saturday school homework, isnt life wonderful? i wish i could be like FUCK THIS ALL but it would be mean to my mom. it's kind of the whole point that i go there for her i guess. if this doesnt make sense to you then dont bother trying to understand

denise and rachelle and lara are probably gossiping away right now. at their exclusive slumber party. haha i joke. its not exclusive.

i will post the trillions of pictures i took with my slr this weekend sometime when i am not up to my tits in homework/university shite.

ciao

ok, this just made my day...

sean writes a msg on ben's wall:

HAHAHAHAAHA dear GOD. oh sean.

i should stop stalking people on facebook

today is called NO SCHOOL DAY. yay!

i love life.

after school yesterday, dara and i went downtown to the central vpl (vancouver public library) and borrowed some books for our research paper on Dickens... -_-

BUT IT WAS SUCH AN ADVENTURE!

i found a book and dara wanted the same one, so then we looked it up on the catalogue and there were supposedly two copies in the building somewhere. the librarian looked it up in the "compact shelving" section and dara got a super tattered ancient copy! the due date slip on the verso had 1930s dates. woah

i bought an eco-friendly vpl bag for $3 and i felt awesome. i carried my books in that.

prom is morbid


•denise• says:
she pounced on him before anyone else could touch him

- Jen - Fenny says:
she wants him like a handbag, an accessory

•denise• says:
i know like i would never ever do that

•denise• says:
thats just like

•denise• says:
MESSED UP

- Jen - Fenny says:
yea

- Jen - Fenny says:
no shit.

- Jen - Fenny says:
i wish she gets a broken leg for prom

- Jen - Fenny says:
and has to be hospitalized

- Jen - Fenny says:
HAHAHHAHA

•denise• says:
WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with ur head if u do this

- Jen - Fenny says:
she is so bizarre

- Jen - Fenny says:
i can just see it now

- Jen - Fenny says:
her in her turquoise dress and dragging jordan along so that her mom can take pictures of them

- Jen - Fenny says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA oh dear GOD.

- Jen - Fenny says:
im dieing

- Jen - Fenny says:
that is going on my blog

happiness is not a fish that you can catch

school is pointless these days. i never do any homework, or get to classes on time, or do productive things in my spare. i take huge naps after school then go to bed at 2am each nite. by then i'm fucking starving so i have to eat something before snuggling up in bed. i suffer trying to wake up each morning.

Hmm.

the race is on. people have come out of their peepingholes and are scrambling to ask each other out for the prom in may. omgomgomg. on friday ______ asked ______ and there was a big thing. today ______ asked ______ and there was a even bigger thing. wowowowow.

.......

oh yes. today was valentines day and there were red roses and pink construction paper hearts going around. i had a lot of good chocolates. also i stole some candy hearts off somebody in my chem class. they were sugary and good.

i want to shout a big fuck you to everybody. i have to get a grip, though, because otherwise i will go insane from the lack of attention i am getting. i am a narcissist and an overambitious idiot.

this is a good and strange joke:

Q: WHY DID THE PLANE CRASH?

A: BECAUSE THE PILOT WAS A LOAF OF BREAD.

i think whoever created that should get the nobel prize.

and the dish ran away with the spoon

fuck! i am so pissed off at a classmate. i think i could erupt like a volcano right now.

i have stupid romantic thots about people/places/things i do not know well. and once i get to know them well enough, i am immediately irked by them. the moral of the story is that people suck and that i should stick to being a stupid reclusive hermit.

ugh.

have you noticed that i only blog when i am angry or pissed off? jesus christ.


HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE
THE CAT AND THE FIDDLE
THE COW JUMPED OVER THE MOON
THE LITTLE DOG LAUGHED TO SEE SUCH SPORT,
AND THE DISH RAN AWAY WITH THE SPOON!

i was born a unicorn

the dynamic duo
TRENCHCOAT LARA &
COLORFULSCARF ROXY

the dynamic duo!

lara has glassy doll eyes




this is the best shade of purple.


i love the texture of her ponytail


detective lar!


fuzzy scarf


lara laughs her guts out.

more at flickr

god only knows what i'd be without you

ESTER'S EMO TEAR
(BLUE STICKY TACK) SERIES

i am a genius for thinking of this sticky tack thing.


green eyes!




enraged ester


chomp chomp






yay!
more pictures to come.