we are so morbid. (SUICIDE PUMPKIN!)

HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

there was a pumpking carving contest today and a grade 9 boy cut his finger really badly and there was blood all over his pants and the school floor. i stepped in the pool of blood by mistake because i was backing up to take a picture... then learned it wasnt fake blood o_O. i immediately felt like barfing my insides out. i dont know why everyone else is taking it more lightly than i am. i'm severely scarred from all that blood. i felt like screaming when it happened.

some retarded people were annoying the fuck out of me today, as they've ruined my otherwise perfect day but W/E i dont think i care anymore. sometimes i worry because i'll say something mildly mean/true, and everyone will be like *GASP* THATS SUCH A MEAN THING TO SAY and i'm going there thinking "uhhh that was not even half as mean as what i was thinking... but ok." blargh

we are watching "waking life" in writing class and it is the most difficult movie to comprehend. it's about all this philosophy/existantionalism/solepcism/destiny shite. i was intrigued at first but i need about five minutes to completely understand one minute of that movie. (serious.) it goes something like this:

Woman: Excuse me.
Wiley: Excuse me.
Woman: Hey. Could we do that again? I know we haven't met, but I don't want to be an ant. You know? I mean, it's like we go through life with our antennas bouncing off one another, continously on ant autopilot, with nothing really human required of us. Stop. Go. Walk here. Drive there. All action basically for survival. All communication simply to keep this ant colony buzzing along in an efficient, polite manner. "Here's your change." "Paper or plastic?' "Credit or debit?" "You want ketchup with that?" I don't want a straw. I want real human moments. I want to see you. I want you to see me. I don't want to give that up. I don't want to be ant, you know?

o btw i was a painter for today:

vain. vain. vain. loser

i had a lot of fun ruining this perfectly white shirt

my paint palett for the day

more pixxx to come.