there are many things that i would like to say to you but i don't know how

paradise in technicolor

is it raining outside? seems dark and dismal and cold in the apartment. i haven't been outside this ENTIRE LIVELONG DAY wow i am such a hermit. i had a weird dream last nite, which reminded me of an absolutely HORRIBLE, graphic nightmare i had about a week ago...

i was sitting at a lie-down dentist sort of chair, with a bespectacled evil-looking doctor leering over me. it was at some sterile clinic. all white and hospital blue. it seems funnie to say now but everyone looked disturbing and distorted, like this nurse had a freaky huge-ass smile a la stepford wives, and this lady i know was extremely obese, a la violet beauregarde from willy wonka & the chocolate factory.

suddenly i'm on two different iv drips, one entering my right arm vein, and the other my left. i'm in pain and i dont know what fluids are going into my body. (if this is grossing you out you should stop reading now.)

i'm in mild agony and making animal noises when the evil doctor dude finally shows up at my side. he takes the two drips off my arms, and i ask "umm what was that brown fluid on my right arm?". he smiles nastily and replies, "garbage".

GAH

i wake up and the two imaginary iv drip spots are throbbing like crazy.

eww that was fucking gross. HAHAHA i guess i can never be a junky because i was scared as fuck.