look, bss are on the cover of Chart magazine (march 2006)

yessssssssssssss. *pump fist*

people beside me in the computer lab are working on their science fairs. hahahaha.

some parent just came in and asked for the head teacher of the mini. this grade 9 dude and i both hesistated for like 6 seconds before we said "ms ellison"... aww. sad.

WHY THE HELL DID MR KINNEAR LEAVE, GODDAMMIT!!

grade 8s are such fucking pricks. yeesh.

she said, she said, "why don't you just drop dead?"

whenever i go on the computer i naturally go onto blogger, but now for the first time ever i dont know what to say (that hasnt already been said).

so. uh.

since it is a mere 3 months until my birthday (wow i sound like such a prick), i have made a relatively small list of cd i want.

elliott smith - xo
elliott smith - either/or
koufax - social life
death cab for cutie - the photo album
stars - heart
murder by death - who will survive and what will be left of them
sufjan stevens - illinois
the dears - no cities left

plus usual radiohead/pavement/mg/ben folds cds i dont have. etc.
yea yea i dont own all of matt good yet.


right. im rambling. plus who actually reads lists? i should go and cramcramcram.

last nite i dreamt that i sawed off my left leg. i did it in martyrdom, i think, but i don't really remember what i was supporting in light of my martyrdom. there werent a lot of blood and gore, and i sliced into bone neatly too. i don't remember being in pain, though. weird. i remember i had a fake leg for the latter part of my dream, and gimped as i walked. like terry fox.

today was pretty pointless but i did well on my band test.

i also wrote an essay as part of the UBC essay competition and it was okay, but not much better. the essay topic alone was 2 pages long.

i had a long conversation with toby before the Essay. that was nice. we listened to sufjan stevens in the student room and talked about music and concerts and the forever-going science/arts debate. ahahaha. she said some funny shit.

tonite i have to study chemistry and physics until i bleed. we have some retarded math assignments. ugg.

oy. i have no idea what im doing...
its frikken 12 30am. erlackkkkk.

SLEEP would be a good idea

i want summer nowwwwww
although that means i would be in grade 12
and thats a tad bit too creepy

reading xangas is so addictive.. every second xanga you click on is someone you know
plus they're retarded and therefore funny to reeeed.

my sister is ubersick and shes complaining like crazy.

Panic! at the disco is very... odd.
one of their songs are titled "Lying is the most fun a girl could have without taking her clothes off",
after a quote from the movie "closer".

i havent bought a fricking cd since january
plus a lot of my cds are scratched
uggg.

i have nothing to be whiny about
weeeird.

woah one more week until the size of my class decreases by half.
this will be interesting.
hahahahahahah.

ooo, i just remembered
last math class, my new math teacher and i had an argument
wherein she was totally wrong
i was like HA IN YOUR FACE! YOU DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT A RATIONAL NUMBER IS!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111one!!!11
etc.
plus zach was on my side and we were like HA!
then she checked her "math dictionary" then we were right.
BURN.

i may be paranoid, but im not an andoid.

i should stop blogging at midnite every so often
its bad for my health

I CAN JUGGLE.
this guy in dreads showed me how.
it was awesome.

today we went to safeway and bought some toothpaste.
my mom requires a special kind of toothpaste
the kind for sensitive teeth.
very interesting, i know.

by the 2010 olympics in vancouver, i will be 21.
WOAH.

one time i dreamed that i went to coquitlam for a fancy outdoorsy dinner party and there were lots of candles on the tables and somebody gave me a bouquet of red roses. then we played cards afterwards. weird.

sometimes it's weird when you realize you have more in common with the people you hate than you do with your friends.

ooookies.

i love it in the alexisonfire song when it goes:
"This is a .44 caliber love letter straight from my heart."

its 3 minutes to 1am.

k bye.

*post*

Lara says:
okay my chess friend was talking with the friend she likes and they were like hinting that they liked each other and at the end they were finally just like:

Lara says:
she said: Well w/e, i like you dude

- Jen - says:
:O

- Jen - says:
woah.

- Jen - says:
bold.

Lara says:
and he said "i like you too dudette"

Lara says:
awwwwwww

- Jen - says:
AW

Lara says:
i think thats the cutest think i've heard in a while


we sound like 12-year-olds in this convo but thats okay.

LARA WANTS TO BE HAPPY

... if this english assignment (which i just finished after a bajillion hours of procrastination) does not get a good mark i will have to hit something because my english mark is in the shit right now and i have to up my mark, aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i have spent 3 hours on a measly 4-paragraph response. wut a freaking retard.

anyway. today i learned to juggle in like ten freaking minutes and i was totally excited. it was uber-fun. it's actually pretty easy once you get the hang of it.

me: "WOAH I HAVE HAND EYE COORDINATION!!!!! HOLYCRAP!!!!"

plus i got 3 hours of volunteering while having fun, so wooohoo.

lotsa pix to come. im just lazy and not uploading any of them. i will have to bombard my blog with a shitload later.

OK IM GOING TO SPEND ONE FULL HOUR ON ONLY HOMEWORK, WITH ZERO PROCRASTINATION. WISH ME LUCK!!! AFTER I ACCOMPLISH THIS, I CAN BE KNOWN AS "PRODUCTIVE JENNY".

goddamn i hate this.

.dara says:
ow ow ow ow wo w

- Jen - says:
aw.

- Jen - says:
you

- Jen - says:
are

- Jen - says:
evil

- Jen - says:
you get me ditched

- Jen - says:
then ditch me

.dara says:
not my fault

.dara says:
(it never is)

- Jen - says:
fuck.

- Jen - says:
righto.

- Jen - says:
you.

- Jen - says:
bad.

- Jen - says:
evil.

- Jen - says:
hate.

.dara says:
child

- Jen - says:
agh.

.dara says:
hate makes the world go round

- Jen - says:
of course.

- Jen - says:
same w/ money

lights out, guerilla radio! (turn this shit up)

im really happy this weekend 'cause i've had some good talks with people. the talks have made me quite relieved even though they should have made me miserable. OH MAN IM SO PSYCHED FOR THIS WEEK BECAUSE I WONT BE SULKY AT ALL. suhweet.


what a weird ... reflection, that was.

on a completely irrelevant note: i am interviewing my school's Athlete of the Month for my school newspaper... and she just happens to be one of my best friends. woohoo. go dara.

.dara says:
I'm not charismatic

- Jen - says:
so? then youre not charismatic.

.dara says:
pffffffftttt

- Jen - says:
the interview will be 100% real, no edits

.dara says:
ew

- Jen - says:
phsaw.

- Jen - says:
dont ew me.

.dara says:
i'm ewwwy

- Jen - says:
HAHA .

dara says:
too ewwy for real time

today i saw the weirdest thing ever - there were shitloads of piles of ICE CUBES in the middle of the street, lying on to the grassy walk (i say grass but i really mean hay, because it's so dry). bizarre much? i took pictures. yes i am a weirdo.

people can really burn me up sometimes. one day it will be completely fine and fun, then the next moment i can't stand anything they are saying, and everything people do make me want to barf. ugh.

i have such shitloads of work to do this week. why do i always have weeks in which i do completely nothing, followed by weeks just FILLED with homework? UGH.

jonny greenwood at the organ
(radiohead blog.)

HA!

...


i console people who have the same problems as i do. which makes me think, how the fuck do i give them advice if i dont have any advice for myself? weeeird. ugh.



BAH.


blaharghughblablab blargh.

on the other hand, today, someone complimented me that i was "deep" and "different". it makes me laugh but im glad she said it anyway. plus i got stuff out of her (TWO batches of gossip in one day? NO WAY.) so it was fun. i am too good at making people talk about their innermost thoughts. aha. riiiiight-o. i think im getting just a TAD bit carried away.

i wish i could stop obsessing about completely trite and boring crap. somebody shoot me with an emo gun.

lalala i hate my blog skip skip skip

msn should fucking die.

its my dads birthday today. weird. i think i last saw him 5 years ago. "think" being the operative word.

i watched "closer". that was weird too. but in a good way. and i kind of hate jude law but this movie made it better.

umm yearrr.

i think i should give up everything and become a businesswoman. i clearly suck at everything i like, and clearly money is the most important thing in the world.

(seriously.)

ohh i just hit my 100th post (of this blog) yesterday, i think. i think i had something like 6000 posts in my old one, before it got deleted.

today was pretty pointless except all the pstpstgossiptalk (!!!). the news spread like fire. did it REALLY require 4 years for something like this to happen? yeesh. i think we've finally hit maturity. or something.

we hate your hate.

i am broke, i hate saying No i cant go shopping 'cause im broke. i say that probably for half of all things my friends and i ever do, ugh. i wonder if people are thinking 'why is jen always so broke' yet. uhhhh yea. being in a nerdy school sucks when almost everybody in it has intellectual parents with filthy rich jobs (as opposed to having intellectual parents with non-filthy rich jobs). living close to shaughnessy and its 5-million-dollar-homes is a great boost of my fucking ego.

no offence to anybody. i am just being stupid.

i think if i lived in the 20's/30's, i'd definitely be communist or otherwise very very very left-wing. hahahahaha. OH MAN I HAVE A HAT TO GO WITH MY COMMUNIST THEME TOO!

weird.

peoplepeoplepeople.

roxy must be really happy. although if i were emily i'd feel like complete utter shit and attempt suicide possibly. (ok so maybe not suicide, but go on major sulking rages for weeks).

i feel like going on a major sulking rage for weeks. or am i on one already? ugh.

woah something sweet happened for roxy. weeeeeeeeird!

this is my day to dig for news slash go crazy over gossip.

um. am i the only one without a life who's freaking out about this? probably.

holy shizat i need to get off the frikken computer.


i think ive gone blind.

Ah. I feel my life passing by. Without much markings to make it memorable. I don't know what to write. I don't even..
Sigh.
I can't think of anything worthwhile to say without fall under the category of savage toolish cliche pre-teens bitching about their homework or some shit like that. So whatever, everybody has it rough. I feel better that way. At least I'm not alone in this.

agreed x gazillion

well said!
haha, im at the point where all i can do is steal from other peoples journals
this is indeed creative

mmhmmm hi.

there's pretty baby sunshine outside.

today went by quickly but i dont really know why.

now i wait, blah blah blah

i wanted to be an all-powerful, untouchably darling, super friendly, crazily euphoric, intellectually shy girl who had just the right words flowing out of my mouth, like a lullaby.

k bye.

wait, they don't love you like i love you

yeah yeah yeahs are coming to vancouverrr! i want to go just so i can see Nick Zinner in person, no joke. drool. um yeah. but i dont have a single cd of theirs and have listened to maybe 5 songs in my life. (although "maps" is a fantastic song.) Karen O would be amazing to watch sing, im guessing. daaaamn.

today was a big shitty day from the very beginning and i pretty much hated it, lalala.

i want to FORGET, COMPLETELY, about any stupid math fucking contests, and people talking about trip to cuba, and mad volunteering, and english marks, and post-secondary education, and "leadership", and being careful with people, and graduation portfolios, and sketchy dramatic shit, and annoying people, and worrying about money, and talking about frappucinos, and haircuts, and reading vanity fairs, and thinking before speaking, and obsessing about weird bizarre shit, and people obsessing over the same people over and over again, and thinking about shopping because you have to. oh and did i mention postsecondary education? cause i hate it extra. i wish i could forget all that and just SLEEP.

we had a substitute in socials today, and i passed a note to denise but she didnt understand it cause she didnt know what a MILF was, then she called aiden a MILF because she didnt know what it was, and then hilarity ensued.

plus roxy is in *actual* relationship crap that even remotely resembles stuff on tv. oh my. how exciting. (i am completely serious.)

god. i need to stop taking random naps. today after school/starbucks, i felt like shit very suddenly so then i screamed then buried my head in my clothes then fell asleep on the floor, in front of my closet, for two hours. ehn.

im trudging through life. i need some sunshine.

AHHHHHHHH PEOPLE SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

i wish people would leave NOW I CANT WAIT UNTIL MARCH SOMETHING-SOMETHING

.dara - playoffs says:
yeah, princess mononoke will totally be like an old school favourite of mine

.dara - playoffs says:
but Howl's is just so graphically prettier

- Jen - says:
pretty!

.dara - playoffs says:
pweety!

- Jen - says:
TWEETY

- Jen - says:
I THOUGHT I SAW A PUDDY TAT!

.dara - playoffs says:
PUDDY TAT

- Jen - says:
im going insane

.dara - playoffs says:
we're crazzzzzzzy

.dara - playoffs says:
whoosh ----------->

- Jen - says:
WHOOSH

- Jen - says:
like that WHOOSH THING!

- Jen - says:
like from toy story

.dara - playoffs says:
?

.dara - playoffs says:
expliques-moi

- Jen - says:
woody: YOURE A REAL SPACEMAN BUZZ! AND YOUR HELMET, IT DOES THAT, THAT, WHOOSH THING!

- Jen - says:
FROM TOY STORY

.dara - playoffs says:
OMIGOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.dara - playoffs says:
I REMEMBER THAT

*pogos off the face of earth*


IM SO FUCKING GIDDY RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK!


BOING BOING BOING

i feel like roadrunner

MEEP MEEP!

denise with her ANGEL WINGS, from grade 10

another pointless day. we had a guest speaker, and then i had band, then review time in physics, then community service. how more pointful can you get?

after school, a bunch of us went to safeway and then A&W. i ate some ketchup with a coffee stirring stick, but not much else.

right now on my msn list, about half the people online have some sort of HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY <3 for their screennames. haaaaaa.

oh man. im in grade 12 next year, then its off to university (wherever that might be). how creepy.

i have to be at school by 8am tomorrow, we have a math contest in the morning. DIE MATH DIE!!!!! ugh.

i think its kind of bad that i have random chest pains every day. last nite it was soooo bad that i had to make animal noises in my bed before sleeping. ick.

denise. says:
god hes 17

denise. says:
god hes hot

denise. says:
god hes talented

denise. says:
god I WANNA MEET HIM

- Jen - says:
AHHHHH



im watching Ice dancing right now and holy shit it is amazing.

why's it always that when i say something to offend people, they are never offended, and when i say something semi-amusing, people accuse me of saying the meanest and cruelest comment ever? jeez. i need to work on my sarcasm. or something.

when i grow older i want a song named after me. but that would mean that i'd have to befriend musicians first. oh and i want it to be a positive song about me, ahaha.

i sound very vain.

tobys boyfriend must be a bleeding romantic. he sounds sweet and shes probably really happy.

mixed cds are the best gifts.

erlack i wish i could care about something, ANYTHING, right now.
but. i dont care. about anything. all i know is i want to sleep, MAYBE.

boo.

i slept for 2.5 hours when i came home today and now i feel even more tired/gross/sick/old.

stuff i listened to this week.

There's a destination a little up the road,
From the habitations and the towns we know.
A place we saw the lights turn low,
Jig-saw jazz and the get-fresh flow.
Pulling out jives and jamboree handouts,
Two turntables and a microphone.
Bottles and cans and just clap your hands and just clap your hands.

school was absolutely torturous today, classes were so sleep-inducing and exhausting even though we pretty much did nothing.

i just went to the school bathroom and saw the mirror. i look like a regurgitated pizza. ugh.

we had the most repeated (and yet still heated) debate in our socials class about the Great State Of Humanity And What We Can Do, for maybe the billionth time. i dont know why but every time we have one of these discussions, i know exactly who's going to say what, and everything said is pretty much obvious, yet they are still intriguing. or something.

lara wore her big fat white snowboots today.

people think i'm mean.

cause=time

as a gift, i would like some sanity please.

when you ACTUALLY love somebody, you use the word "like". and when you ACTUALLY hate somebody, you use the word "meh", or "hmmm". the words love and hate are overrated and overfrequented and have become totally cliche and everyone knows it.

somebody on tv just said the word "oxymoron".

no one else wants to fight me like you do.

i watched maybe 3 hours of curling yesterday on tv. COUGHlazyCOUGH

maybe i will start homework soon. the weekend is allllmost over.

- Jen - says:
my friend goo.

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
gooey

- Jen - says:
YOURE gooey

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
you're ewwy!

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
so hah

- Jen - says:
!

pointfulness:



- Jen - says:
blargh bleep beep

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
shmoo

- Jen - says:
shrooms?

- Jen - says:
yum yum munch munch

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
Ö

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
whoaaaaaa

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
how did I do that

- Jen - says:
youre too weird

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
Ö

- Jen - says:
haha

- Jen - says:
O: is clearly better

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
O=

hi blog.

blargh beep beep

fuckin graduation portfolio. la dee dah, this is so profoundly stupid.

ohhhh noes.

i wonder whats happening.

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaats going on, im so confused.

i hate msn.

could you BE any more self centered? no, probably not.

(insert big fat question marks here.)

ahh my heads going to explode from this weirdness. i feel like an alien.

courtney love and frances bean cobain.

only know what I'm told, only know what I'm told
fast asleep daydreaming.

one day you will see me and i will be drinking hot coffee and maybe reading a newspaper and carrying a laptop and you will be going to your brothers wedding. and i'll say hi and you'll say hi and then i'll maybe laugh a sad laugh.

right.

there are more than six billion people in the world. this is weird.

jerry maguire was an okay movie. erlack i think i have some kind of syndrome where you watch and cherish cheesy stuff.

mmmm cheese.

i wish i had a superpower to tell what someone else was thinking in their minds, even if just for one day. it would be fricking awesome. i would probably be brutally hurt too. although thats ok cause it would be interesting.

fist close tear jerk tight lips scrunched face pull hair sad yell loud mad weep knee fall slam ground beg crawl promise again again again

sweet dreams.

i need me some big fat crying emoticons.



excellent!

my face is yellow and my head is bald.
hey wait, im technically yellow. that made actual sense *GASP*
i cry blue tears.
they are fat and uncatchable,
like denise's tears.
no one wants to catch my tears anyway
except maybe dara, cause shes insane.
i think i seriously need to insert some punctuation into my writing

crying is for losers
i think i'll just be pissed and mad at the world instead
too bad im a hypocritical weirdo

yesterday on the bus i saw a teenager guy who looked EXACTLY like a younger version of Anthony Kiedis (of red hot chili peppers), long hair in ponytail and all. i wanted to say something. but what would have i said? i used to think Anthony Kiedis was so hot when i was in grade nine. hot in a sweaty-gross-hot way, like the way Dave Grohl would be hot.

today/yesterday (feb 18) was raine's 37th birthday. woaaaah.

i think i could be perpetually sad cause im lame like that

i have my weirdo jealousy leveling up and down. suzanne and travis are perfect. leave them alone blah blah blah.

im talking in weird codes that i have just invented one second ago.

ever since you have been gone
its all been caffeine-free, faux punk fatigue.

this post has been edited 100000 times.

i just copied and pasted this msn convo but i forget why, cause its so un-anything
anyway i'm still posting it
i think i neeed sleep

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
but I need to kill math

- Jen - says:
i done math in class

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
@_@

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
I'm not computing this chapter

- Jen - says:
whatever

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
like.. it could be hard

- Jen - says:
its a shitty chapter

- Jen - says:
and a shitty teacher

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
and I could slog my way through it

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
but at least I would be dealing with numbers

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
this is like.. pure unadulterated crap

.dara not cool.. how did I get sick?! says:
and yes, I realize i said pure and unadulterated in a row

- Jen - says:
whaaaaaaa

a b-boy standing in my b-boy stance

i listened to Beck's odelay twice today/nite and i perpetually felt like i was in one of those sandy deserts, wearing a cowboy hat, with my hair swishing in the dry wind, driving on the endless road with a rusty static radio on, a twangy folk song. odelay odelay odelay odelay, he sings.

then i became a couch potato and watched Back to the future (parts 1 and 2) and Jerry Maguire on tbs. hahahahaha. i am on the verge of having zero life. i feel that way especially after volunteering, where i heard people talk about their party-twice-a-day routine. weeeird.

i have been in a bitchy and spacey mood all day. during lunch my sister was reading Albert Camus and i wanted to say "why are you reading that, youre too stupid to understand." it wouldnt have been very surprising if i said it cause we say shit every day to each other but i ran out of energy to say anything.

i am pms-ing. i slept for 2 hours during mid-day after i got home. and i got yelled cause i was being lazy.

i am way out of it.

as;dlkfjdkfdl;sldkfjdkfljdkfl;sfdsafd;;v
meh my day was so stagnant and stupid.

hot topic is the way that we want it

i dunno why im still on the computer, how more lame can i get? i need sleeeeep godammit.

i visited eBay for the first time in my life today. it is pretty weird how so many people use it efficiently.

apparently there is an Emily Haines solo cd floating around on the internet? i dont know. where do people get these things?!?

i dont love anything.

my office glows all nite long.

racheal is sleeping over at bar's house tomorrow. iiiiii know. scandalous.

my broken social scene cd is scratched. shit. sigh. this means i'll have to buy another one.. or something.

SOMEBODY SEW ME SOME WINGS ON MY BACK SO I CAN FLY

once me and thomas made this awesome story. in the story, i was married to a pharmacist but then i ditched him for some motorcycle dude (who was actually a butterfly in disguise) and i got some wings and flew away with him. and the story ends with my high-fiving thomas. i am clearly very normal indeed.

my throat hurts
its after midnite and i should start my homework due in roughly 9 hours.

lalala

dude. im so jealous of this girl
everyone loves her
including me
and i hate the whole situation
especially cause i ruin everything

bedshaped,
and legs of stone.
you'll knock on my door and off we'll go
in white light.

people are BLIND.
fuckin retards.

watching the olympics makes everbody, including me, so goddamned inspired and sparkly-eyed, that it is almost on the verge of disgusting and cliche.

wheeeeeee

volunteering was pretty shitty today.
i wished, many times, that i had music with me so that i wouldnt have to hear people talking.
people are generally stupid in nature.
i wish i could care more about it, but frankly im quite desensitized to the point of not even caring anymore. i stick to uncool shit. i sleep better that way.

so much weird, sketchy shit going on.

doodoodoo.

whats yr take on cassavetes?

i wrote a blog post last nite at 2:14am but blogger wouldnt let me post it, so im posting it now. this is called recycling.




its 2:14am! omg. its *just* like valentines day. geddit? huh huh huh?

i need sleep i think

my throat has a hole in it and when i drink water it feels very cold.
i cant swallow my vitamin pills because my throats fucking swollen from yelling all nite.
i will have lost my voice by tomorrow morning.

"i loved you gwenievere,
i loved you gwenievere."

i am watching The Hours again cause my mom rented it. too bad i fell asleep in the middle. umm yeeeaaaaahhh. oh god, i wish my submitted poem wins a prize i hope my poem wins a prize i hope my poem wins a fucking prize, i WANT the money prize okay??? plus it was my first rhyming poem that didn't suck completely. only half-suck.

i always dream about having my period. its pretty weird and gross
although not as weird as that dream in which i went to north korea for vacation by helicopter.
haha
and they were shooting us daggers with their eyes
(this is a figurative comment. denise.)
i woke up crying from that dream.

i havent dreamed in a while though
probably because my life is as exhiliating as a worm's, at the moment
shit i have to go volunteering tomorrow.. earlyearlyearly at noon
but i need my coma-sleep, dammit.

im HUNGRY i havent eaten for like 9 hours

why am i still here?

i want a Jones soda cause i want a creepytrue fortune like lara got. "thank your former teacher"

like, dude.

i think thats my most over-repeated said phrase ever
"like, dude."
it looks pretty unintelligent on paper
har har har

i wanna change my name goddamit

am i going to deathcab/franz concert or what?

its so easy to look like a slut.

oh by the way, yes i did find something to wear, for people who asked, thank you. i was going to my most conservative skirt ever but then ditched that idea and wore my oldoldold jeans instead plus this nice green top. uhhh yaghahghghaghahgsdfasdfsdfqr.

TODAY I SAW OLIVIA (of grade 10) TOTALLY EYEING BAR (rachael's bf.)
then denise and i laughed
ahhhhhhhhhahahhah

dude! i want to be a fucking journalist when i grow up
too bad i suck at writing
and whatever else in general
i once said to somebody "id rather be a hotdog vendor than be a doctor" or sumthing like that and she was totally like "ummmm wtf." AGH! can i not weird you out please? i need to be unweird to the point of boring. except boring people are boring and therefore they suck. oh wait am i boring? i think i just burned myself

oh btw for pw people: mr braverman is going to be the featured teacher on the next school newspaper! i have to write an article on mr kinnear leaving. erlack times infinity.

one time i was gonna talk to this dude on the bus who was reading that chuck klosterman book and i was gonna talk to him and i was gonna talk to him and then i thot about what to say cause i wanted to say something like Oh Ive read that book, etc, and then i kept thinking until i realized he got off the bus.

nevermindnverminvedmveirnd

i listened to nevermind today though. also "the bends"
and uhhh some foo fighters
plus a shitload of deathcab once again
i hate how dcfc is connected to the OC, btw.
friggin weird.

vancouver sucks.

no i dont mean that actually its like the best city in the world yadda yadda yadda

its TORONTO that sucks

once i was sitting at a bench in granville island and this girl was sitting and waiting too and she had bright magenta hair and the whole time i wanted to say something except i didnt at the end.

k im sure no one is reading this post by now

i remember when justin and i were still on talking-terms and we used to rave about Chris cornell being God. damnfuck i should have gone to the audioslave concert. he's so weird.

whats a female version name of "thomas"? mebbe i can change my name to something like that. ahahahaha im so hilarious, i know.

today in english class i drew some cartoons and they fucking ruled. i should become a cartoonist. i am too funny ahahahahahahahaha. i would scan it but no one would get it except the people i showed it to. ha ha ha!!!!!!!

hey did you know that i always wanted to be an artist, until when i was about in grade six?
well now you know.
i wanted to be like a painterdude
except, uh, i have no mad original art skillz.

im pouring out my life story here arent i?

its 20 minutes to 3am.

i remember when we used to send e-mails as long as this post. back when we were fucking depressed, exactly a year ago, or something like that

im ____'s best friend.

whenever i go to saturday school there is this couple who always holds hands and i cant stop staring at them.

i dont even talk to matt anymore
this is probably bad.
denise and dara are hiding secrets from me and i dont know what they are.
meh.

metric is so fucking overrated at my school now, it pains me

one day i'll write a story about a girl whose family is poor and i'll write how she is someone who doesnt even throw away rubber bands and scrap paper. and how she saves money and "splurging" for her is like spending $12.

meh i cant wait to get out of everything
i need a new life
mostly cause im sick of pretty much everythingggggggg. new new new new new!

i wonder if i will be angry if i accidentally delete this post.

i remember when i first listened to nirvana on pat's cd player, i was blown away. i think i loved pat back then, so i loved nirvana too. how old was i? 12? 13? i dont know.

pfft, fucking thirteen year olds. phsaw.

i have no idea why but im updating my blog although it's fucking 1 26am. aaaanyway. yeah somehow i manage to piss off at least 1 person every dance. my/dara's djing was fantastic, according to what most people said, they really liked the music played (you like me! you really like me!). hooray. i think i'm going to dj every dance when i am in grade 12 because it's sometimes SO much better/more fun than being part of the actual dance... plus i get to choose *actual* music to be played. mmmmhm.

im beginning to think that it's actually the youngest grades who drink the most at dances. they scare me because they're tiny and pale and gulp down shit in bathroom stalls.

there were shitloads of gossipshit that went on in the dance, i cant even remember them all. only one person in our grade cried, though. thats gotta be a record right? meh. there was the usual depression going on (what else is new) and melodrama, plus there were a lot of people sucking face. um. ha ha ha.

im glad people liked my first djing thingy.

i'm so tired. i should sleep, why the fuck am i on the computer?

k i should go sleep.
denise was sad, i felt bad for her.
i enjoyed myself because i didnt stick around too many... people.
i hope people survive the postdance trauma. each dance is soooo stupid but soooo important, its not even funny anymore. la la la.

i have to leave in 1.5 hours and i have no idea what i'm wearing to the v-day dance.
meh

I WANNA BE KATE!
fuckin ben folds. i hate you.
hmm i wonder whats wrong with me

mmmm anyway.... i think i should stay away from the internet
or at least msn.
it is detrimental to my mental and emotional health
and probably physical health too
erlack
i hate the "away" sign on msn.

i wish i had a plane ticket.

im the best community service student ever.

if this is the life, why does it feel so good to die today?

yay done! this one only took about 1.5 hours.

yeesh. STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY WILL HARM YOU EMOTIONALLY.

ive listened the shit out of death cab today
my newest favourite song is "information travels faster" and "we laugh indoors"

my top 20 most listened-to bands, in order: (because i know y'all care sooooo much about what i listene to, ha.)

Elliott Smith
Our Lady Peace
Sufjan Stevens
Ben Folds Five
Pavement
Koufax
Fall Out Boy
Ben Folds
Fugazi
City And Colour
Broken Social Scene
Death Cab for Cutie
Stars
Murder By Death
Wilco
Bright Eyes
Sonic Youth
The Strokes
Radiohead
Jeff Buckley

EISLEY is playing in vancouver for a mere $16.50. shit. i need to download their cd Room Noises. i wannnnnnnnnnnna gooooooooo.

city and colour tix were completely sold out on the first day. well, they were sold out like 6 hours after they went on sale. boooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. The Februarys was going to open for him tooooooo. erlack, mundo stupide that i didnt get the tix.

k-os has a live dvd out and i really want it. his performances are wicked. at the last junos he did a medley of 3 songs and it was amazing.

speaking of junos, our lady peace is nominated for 2 awards, Best Rock Album and Best Group... other than that, the nominees this year pretty much suck. canadian idol rex goudie is nominated for the Best Album juno. what is the world coming to?!?!? the only award i actually care about is the Best Alternative Album, i want broken social scene to win. however, it might be a very close call with the new pornographers. (other nominees for best alternative album include metric, hot hot heat and tegan&sara). i have all of these cds except hhh's.

Coldplay is to perform at the junos... what the hell? that just puzzles me. also, jason tells me that broken social scene might perform. that would be the bestestest thing ever. last year feist's performance of Mushaboom was fantastic.

tomorrow is the dance and they are playing at least 8 non-sucky songs, ahahahaha excellent!!!!!!!!! i think i'll sit beside aiden and just listen. i cant handle any possible drunken v-day melodrama.

my office glows all night long
it's a nuclear show and the stars are gone.
elevator, elevator, take me home.

i want to play the piano. why the fuck did i quit?

"of course i'm happy, everybody should be happy."

i wonder what i should wear tomorrow for the dance.
is it just me or does that sound extremely stupid?


it's the worst thing when you want to talk to somebody really badly but you stop yourself because it will make you look pathetic and/or possibly desperate. and you agonize over whether to talk to her/him for hours and when you finally do they're gone slash unavailable and you call yourself an idiot. or you finally get to talk to her/him, you run out of things to say because you are stopping yourself from saying what you really want to say. and you end up talking about something stupid, like the weather. one day you work up the nerve to say something that is semi-on-your-mind but you end up scaring him/her with your weirdness that he/she ends up not talking to you, ever. and you feel bad because you ruined it.