oh god. i've had the most insane weekend and it's getting worse.
the sleeping-at-five-in-the-morning thing, among many other factors, has really thrown me off my routine. i guess i am a perfectionistic person, because i do not like to get out of routine, it makes my head dizzy for days. i shouldn't have helped my mom with all that work with the spreadsheets.
i dont know what happened, but it seems like somebody hacked into my brain and deleted all the information in it- i feel like i have amnesia, but i obviously don't. while studying for the physics test, i realized that everything has escaped my brain, i couldn't remember half the stuff i am to know... it didn't help that i did every single piece of homework backwards prior to this. the one thing i can ever count on is my head, and i don't know where that went. it's the creepiest and most unpleasant feeling ever. i keep falling asleep while studying and the brief fever i had does not help either. what the fuck is happening?
when my mom spoke to me after i woke up, i saw her mouth move but didn't hear one word she said. i feel like i need a shrink. umm. i can't remember anything. i can't seem to concentrate on anything. i read my physics book over and over and nothing gets into my head! this is hihgly unusual, and making me panic. things pass my eyes and i dont know what im looking at.
i feel like i'm in a mental hospital. i'm sleepy, can't remeber what happened a minute ago, and seem to be delirious in doing everything. it feels like i've been haunted by a fucking ghost. i'm worried for my head. have i finally cracked?
this is a fucking plea for help. ahghghghgg. all i want to do is sleep.
1 comment:
Aww sweetie. I totally know how you feel. It's most likely to do with lack of sleep/messing up your sleep pattern. I feel much the same to a small degree ever since I've been sick, but to an enormous degree at the moment - mostly because I haven't slept properly since some time before I went to Vancouver. I can't remember easy things, I can barely string a sentence together today. I had a hospital appt today and my doctor said I was in such a state she was changing my medication becuase she thinks that's causing it. I didn't tell her that it's mostly sleep related, 'cause I want that medication change anyway.
Try and get your sleep patterns back to normal if you can and that will definitely help. If you're still struggling after that it might be worth going to a doctor to see if they can find some cause.
You know where I am if you want to talk, but I totally know how you're feeling.
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